So of course I don't believe its the end of the world, but this wacko religious nut job has given me a minute to think about life. And not so much life, but the idea that some all knowing being is somewhere judging our every move. Hmmm...okay. But if we continue to act disgracefully to one another like say Fred Phelps and his heinous head of the demon The West Borough Baptist Church, you still can be a shoo in for heaven cause you believe in Jesus Christ...do you think that Jesus would even like Freddy and his funeral crashers?
Now, I know Christianity can't possibly be like this, simply say you believe in Christ and then act atrociously and all is well. And yet, I think some believe that this is all you have to do, go to church, say you are doing it in the name of God and then go about doing evil as you see fit, make it work for you and then say it was God's will.
Okay so lets go on the premise (for a moment) that there is no God, Jesus is a story and ALL we really have is each other....that's it.
If this were true, then rapture comes for all of us, eventually we WILL all die, some will face better and some scarier deaths, but death will come. So...who will judge us if Some All Knowing Being doesn't?
We will judge ourselves, we will measure the worth of our own lives and we will see the failings and the successes. If we were loved, admired and rich with friends, family and loved ones, we will be supported, held up and guided through death.
If we were reclusive and withheld ourselves and our love, or acted cruelly to each other, our day of judgement will come when we face our last breaths alone.
And this is our rapture...this moment of judging an existence WILL COME for all of us. And our salvation will either be in the loving faces of those who we have influenced and loved or in the absence of those faces.
So, I need not say this to any readers of my blog, so why am I saying other than to just get it out of my head, but I would venture to say, we all should go to church or temple or to the beach and pray, learn and grow deeper in whatever faith we practice, but too look at our fellow man and animal THE ONLY BEINGS that we are blessed to share this earth with and mind how we treat them. No ominous gang of horses or masked riders are going to come get us. Probably some sort of global warming, air pollution or natural disaster will, but all the more reason to love our fellow man.
Because with that love, comes more love...and with more love, there is no need of fearful stories...because with an immense army of love, there is no war.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Who Cares About Living Half Way Around the World, When it all Ends Tomorrow
So, apparently it is the end of the world tomorrow. Gee I don't even know why I'm stressin' about anything, cause the grande finale is nearing :)
Now, I find this super funny and the last laugh will be on me if we all puff out in a poof. And then again, a friend of mine in Australia said that if it is supposed to happen at 6PM, will it be a rolling rapture? What about France? Egypt? Japan? will they need to wait until 6, will they have time for tea and scones?
That all being said, I think it would be a great premise for a book a whole world completely unaware until 24 hours before that this is their last day on earth.
According to this preacher guy, only 2% of the population is going to heaven and the rest will be swallowed up by the fiery pits of despair. I don't know if it is as low as 2%, but I do believe that if God where to come down and pick and choose, God would probably pick people who have lived above the laws of common man their whole lives, people who have been more loving, forgiving and gracious than anyone could ever fathom. Or people who have been brave and fearless in the face of death, cancer, war and human tragedy. However, since we are all God's children, I doubt any one of us would be dammned. I certainly wouldn't smite either of my kids and I doubt that an all loving, all caring, all good being would smite theirs either...so there MMMAAAHHHH (that's me sticking out my tongue) if any of us are going down in flames we all are :)
That being said it does bring up an interesting quandary...what would you do? Really what would you do if this were your last day on earth. If this was it!
Well, I'm taking the kids to Disneyland, writing and then going to out to eat with Gaga Drama and the Divas, then tomorrow is Aunty Bana's birthday celebration, and um I guess that gets us to 6pm. I die doing what I love most, hanging out with friends, celebrating life and um...drinking wine. I need to fit Mommy Music in there somewhere and the SP and Daddy Music...oh and Diva Dad and um...a gillion other people (oh shoot I better get off this blog and start calling people)...but really that's what I would do, hold my kids close and hang out with loved ones eating and drinking till the end. And if that makes me a sinner and a wrong doer...well okay, that's fine.
So what would you do if today and tomorrow were it?????
On that note...(no, not on that note at all, but I can't think of a better transition) I have my phone interview for China on Wednesday...oh holy...whatever...we're ALL GOING DOWN...mua ha ha!
Now, I find this super funny and the last laugh will be on me if we all puff out in a poof. And then again, a friend of mine in Australia said that if it is supposed to happen at 6PM, will it be a rolling rapture? What about France? Egypt? Japan? will they need to wait until 6, will they have time for tea and scones?
That all being said, I think it would be a great premise for a book a whole world completely unaware until 24 hours before that this is their last day on earth.
According to this preacher guy, only 2% of the population is going to heaven and the rest will be swallowed up by the fiery pits of despair. I don't know if it is as low as 2%, but I do believe that if God where to come down and pick and choose, God would probably pick people who have lived above the laws of common man their whole lives, people who have been more loving, forgiving and gracious than anyone could ever fathom. Or people who have been brave and fearless in the face of death, cancer, war and human tragedy. However, since we are all God's children, I doubt any one of us would be dammned. I certainly wouldn't smite either of my kids and I doubt that an all loving, all caring, all good being would smite theirs either...so there MMMAAAHHHH (that's me sticking out my tongue) if any of us are going down in flames we all are :)
That being said it does bring up an interesting quandary...what would you do? Really what would you do if this were your last day on earth. If this was it!
Well, I'm taking the kids to Disneyland, writing and then going to out to eat with Gaga Drama and the Divas, then tomorrow is Aunty Bana's birthday celebration, and um I guess that gets us to 6pm. I die doing what I love most, hanging out with friends, celebrating life and um...drinking wine. I need to fit Mommy Music in there somewhere and the SP and Daddy Music...oh and Diva Dad and um...a gillion other people (oh shoot I better get off this blog and start calling people)...but really that's what I would do, hold my kids close and hang out with loved ones eating and drinking till the end. And if that makes me a sinner and a wrong doer...well okay, that's fine.
So what would you do if today and tomorrow were it?????
On that note...(no, not on that note at all, but I can't think of a better transition) I have my phone interview for China on Wednesday...oh holy...whatever...we're ALL GOING DOWN...mua ha ha!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
OH DEAR GOD!!!!!
Well, I heard from China and they are scheduling an interview with me for next week. OH GOD!!! I am such a bundle of mixed emotions right now. :( If you were to ask me the truth, the God's honest truth...well, I'd pull you aside and whisper in your ear and tell you, "I DON'T WANT TO GO!" :( I love my house and my life here. But, if I can't afford it or work all the time I can't enjoy it, what good is it? Coming home more able to afford things and live more comfortably with books written...is a good thing. I know I can't save too much in China, but I will be able to save a little and I am expecting another big check next year, so that will put me in a good place.
And an adventure is a good thing. And the Shanghai Mom's club sounds like a good thing, I'm just so...well, scared.
So, if ever I relied on my faith in that big fat whatever it is out there, now would be the time...so "Oh, dear lord, I am in your hands, I bare with me my children and their futures, my long held childhood dreams and my deep and loving heart. If it be in your plan, or the law of swirly gases...shift in energy, that I take me and the Diva's to China, a third world country that is not known for its "people pleasing" pray that some remnant of the Walt's Happiest Place on Earth has made it over that great wall...
EEEEKKKKK!!!!
And an adventure is a good thing. And the Shanghai Mom's club sounds like a good thing, I'm just so...well, scared.
So, if ever I relied on my faith in that big fat whatever it is out there, now would be the time...so "Oh, dear lord, I am in your hands, I bare with me my children and their futures, my long held childhood dreams and my deep and loving heart. If it be in your plan, or the law of swirly gases...shift in energy, that I take me and the Diva's to China, a third world country that is not known for its "people pleasing" pray that some remnant of the Walt's Happiest Place on Earth has made it over that great wall...
EEEEKKKKK!!!!
Bye Bye Baby Mo Mo...A MOUSE??!!!!...and Incredible Stressed out Single Mommas
BYE BYE MO MO
Well we said good bye to baby Mo Mo/Elmo last night. Big Diva, Little Diva and The Small Post Man, were all there to send her off with Gaga Drama and My Sister to take her to her grandparents. The dinner the night before went well and they all made promises to stay in each other's lives, there was joy and sorrow as each party will be leaving a little one behind. The Grandparents will board a plane today without their grandson and our family just said good bye to a sister/cousin...so happiness and sadness. We are praying that as the years progress our bond will grow stronger and Baby Mo Mo will know her "other" family as we have become. This brings up so many thoughts about adoption and adoptive families and the interesting family structures adoption creates. In our family we have Big Diva and her big sister, and Big Diva's niece who have also adopted Little Diva as a sister and then in Little Diva's family she will have her birth mom and now the Small Postman has a family far away too....all of us are of many colors, cultures and communities and all of us are a family.
I think this was the best case scenario for baby Mo Mo as the grandparents will have a grand child to raise, my sister, lets call her Momma Music, will finally feel freer to be a mom and really bond, love and adore her incredible Small Postman and my mom...well, Gaga Drama may be the hardest hit by all of this. However, raising Baby Mo Mo wasn't in her life plan, whether it be divine intervention, intention or plan, she is to forge forward without little Mo Mo in her daily life. I do venture to say that raising a child to adulthood, is a glorious gift and a blessing. However, raising many children through their hardships, fears and transitions and supporting birth parents or family to reunite with lost children, by giving love unconditionally and unselfishly....well that just feels like a level of divinity. It feels slightly raised from the average human existence and rests in a place one may consider divine. So mom...there you are.
Okay...
A MOUSE???!!!
A MOUSE!!!!!!!!! Yes, a freaking, bleeping MOUSE!!!! Now, since moving to my amazing HUGE new place, I have had some of the drama that normal home owners face, namely rodents. NEVER INSIDE, but we have had roof rats on the roof and I have seen a few outside. Its normal. I'm not too stressed, the landlord closed stuff up and now we just hear them scratch to get in sometimes. So I am cooler with it than I was. Okay, so yesterday I'm on the phone with Momma Music and we are just. ya know gushing about our little spawns and I SEE IT!!!!! A FREAKING, BLEEPING MOUSE!!!! Now I am not really afraid of mice, I don't want to live with them, but if I see them out in the wild I don't crawl up the nearest tree, but I don't want them inside...nope! However, this mouse wasn't of the alive variety...and there is the problem.
IT WAS A DEAD MOUSE and it just magically appeared in my doorway...DEAD!!! Okay, so here's the thing. I don't do dead. I just don't. If something dies in my house, IT IS NOT MY PROBLEM. The fish were hard enough and it took every ounce of everything I had in me to scoop them up with, what I now loving refer to as, The Death Net and put them in a burial receptacle and trust me it usually took me a whole day to gear up to just do that. And really if it was bigger than a fish, or a small spider or it was any form of roach...it is NOT MY PROBLEM!!!! So I have a love/um.."pissed off at" relationship with God, but down deep, I know we're good. "God" hasn't proven that he is a bearded man or woman (eek) or a swirling mass of energy, so I haven't fully committed to what I believe about him/her/it(s) However, I do know this one thing, I DO NOT DO DEAD...not! So, by issuing this heavily executed proclamation, God has spared me from dead things. So there I was, with a problem, dead thing + me = no bueno! So, I'm on the phone freaking out to Momma Music and she was like, okay my father in law is on his way over to our house, why don't I tell him to go over there and get THE DEAD MOUSE!!!! Momma Drama breaths a sigh..."yes, you do that!" And there again, the universe has proven to me, that I don't do dead things!!!!
Papa Music shows up, with a paper towel already in hand and I caution him that some sort of machine powered crane and protective body armor are needed for this job and he waves me off with his ungloved hand and forges into my very messy (ah, flush with embarrassment)house. I can't look. I.Just.Can't.Look. But I hear...."oh he's not dead yet!" Breath Momma Drama, don't faint....breath. But the first thing that comes to mind is "So, what am I supposed to do??? I don't do almost dead either." No really, the first thing that came to mind was, "great shoo him out, close the door and lets be done with this nonsense." However, the poor thing WAS almost dead...oh that's just fantastic, now we have a moral dilemma :( AAHHHH BLAH!!!! I hate moral dilemmas. So my vote was to still shoo it out and close the door. But Papa Music is a devout Christian and a much braver man than me and said..."Well, we should probably kill it" "WHAT?????? DID???? YOU SAY????? Momma Drama...hold back vomit...hold it, HOLD IT! If I don't do dead, I certainly don't do KILL!!!! And in my own warped sense of righteousnesses, sending a poor dying mouse into the world to suffer and expire was much more humane than ending his life and thus his suffering. Well, while looking for some sort of instrument of execution as Papa Music had instructed me to do, he did the deed and it was over...mouse gone. I am very grateful to Papa Music for coming over to my messy (hang head in embarrassment) house to pick up a dead mouse that he ended up having to kill....what a mess. YUCK. And when Diva Dad reads this story he will be quite displeased with Momma Drama, because, he like Papa Music, and unlike me, is also a brave soul, who would have handled the mouse well....so I fail. Whatever...I know how to fail just fine.
And speaking of Failure....(I am just kidding...really, no one needs to call me... I am just fine...really!)
INCREDIBLE STRESSED OUT SINGLE MOMS WHO I LOVE
Okay, I've already rambled on a bit, so I will try and make this brief. I have three single mommy friends, all of them are hot! All our kids are mixed brown and two of us are adoptive moms and one is a bio mom. We are: DIVA MOMMA (yes, I know another diva to keep track of...but trust me SHE IS the definition of Diva) Momma Drama (yours truly) and MOVIE STAR MOMMA (and she is just that)... okay there are the players...here is the logic.
ALL OF US ARE SINGLE MOMS BY CHOICE...okay. Here we go...
I would venture to say that we are not totally single moms by choice, we may have chosen to be moms, but again, I wonder. As some say being gay is a choice (which I don't believe, I am not gay, but have dappled a bit at being "I kissed a girl" gay as any young hot girl, when I was young and hot, would do) so.... I don't know if we chose to be moms, I think we didn't really have a choice as none of us would have chosen any kind of life that didn't have our own children in it. I don't think we chose to be single (who does that?) I think after a string of heartbreaks, loves, life experiences etc. single sort of happened. Trust me, as I said, all three of us ladies are HOT (me not so much anymore, but I was hot, when hot mattered) the other two...still very HOT! So I don't think it was men not wanting us, I think it was us not wanting the men that wanted us, and holding out (possibly) forever for something better. But, like people who are gay, I don't think living without children in our lives was ever a consideration, it simply had to happen, just like gay people chose/or don't really "chose" to love who they love, we chose to parent who we parent.
So...okay. All three of the Hot Mommas are facing a bit of a life crisis at the moment. It looks like Diva Mom and I might be moving abroad together and Movie Star Momma is just praying to get another gig. Now, movie star momma should be in every freaking movie out, she is so awesome, but she, like us (also richly talented) is struggling. Why do we struggle??? Well the economy is in the sh!tter, that's one, but life says to single moms...hey you! You....YOU!!!! YOU scare us! And we do. We single handedly run households, do errands, chores, build financial futures, coif curls, field unwelcome and welcome stares, fight for rights, wipe noses, get therapy, party, enrich lives and such... Do you really think that we are going to take BS from you? THE MAN, do you really think you can tell us that we can't see our kids and that your stinking job is worth more to my life than Mine!!! No, I think not! We also call out BS, when we see it...like Hey You Boss Guy/Girl, that's BS...I don't have time for BS, BS is not on the calendar and seriously don't feed a single mom BS, we just don't have room in our day, so we will, with all kinds of tact and graciousness, wipe your @ss with your BS. We will be picking up our kids from school and we will be spending weekends with them, but guess what you just hired. A DYNAMO, we'll get done in an hour, what your entire corporation can do in a day...why? Well, hell, ya ever been a single mom???? Sheesh, when you do 72 hours of work in 24, you know how to get sh!t done.
Somehow THIS IS SCARY!!! And I can see why.
So, the Hot Single Mommas are in a bit of a spot. Every one of us has tried for a long time to get work/money/more work/more money. We have cried, but we have bucked up. We wear our brave face all day. We only hint at strife to each other and in a few words masked by Mommy Voices that call out and say...I'm losing it today, or um, inside, deep inside, I'm terrified. We all smile our super human smiles and forge on, knowing that with our incredible talent, strength and beauty this craziness must end. And yet we do face it, our kids only seeing cracks in the fissure but not the whole avalanche. I know that the Hot Single Moms will find their way, but I give a shout out to us today (and anyone putting up with all of it, playing the brave fighter!!!) I guess God/or whoever is in charge, wants us on the front line...who knows. But I love you ladies and I'm glad we have each other.
Well we said good bye to baby Mo Mo/Elmo last night. Big Diva, Little Diva and The Small Post Man, were all there to send her off with Gaga Drama and My Sister to take her to her grandparents. The dinner the night before went well and they all made promises to stay in each other's lives, there was joy and sorrow as each party will be leaving a little one behind. The Grandparents will board a plane today without their grandson and our family just said good bye to a sister/cousin...so happiness and sadness. We are praying that as the years progress our bond will grow stronger and Baby Mo Mo will know her "other" family as we have become. This brings up so many thoughts about adoption and adoptive families and the interesting family structures adoption creates. In our family we have Big Diva and her big sister, and Big Diva's niece who have also adopted Little Diva as a sister and then in Little Diva's family she will have her birth mom and now the Small Postman has a family far away too....all of us are of many colors, cultures and communities and all of us are a family.
I think this was the best case scenario for baby Mo Mo as the grandparents will have a grand child to raise, my sister, lets call her Momma Music, will finally feel freer to be a mom and really bond, love and adore her incredible Small Postman and my mom...well, Gaga Drama may be the hardest hit by all of this. However, raising Baby Mo Mo wasn't in her life plan, whether it be divine intervention, intention or plan, she is to forge forward without little Mo Mo in her daily life. I do venture to say that raising a child to adulthood, is a glorious gift and a blessing. However, raising many children through their hardships, fears and transitions and supporting birth parents or family to reunite with lost children, by giving love unconditionally and unselfishly....well that just feels like a level of divinity. It feels slightly raised from the average human existence and rests in a place one may consider divine. So mom...there you are.
Okay...
A MOUSE???!!!
A MOUSE!!!!!!!!! Yes, a freaking, bleeping MOUSE!!!! Now, since moving to my amazing HUGE new place, I have had some of the drama that normal home owners face, namely rodents. NEVER INSIDE, but we have had roof rats on the roof and I have seen a few outside. Its normal. I'm not too stressed, the landlord closed stuff up and now we just hear them scratch to get in sometimes. So I am cooler with it than I was. Okay, so yesterday I'm on the phone with Momma Music and we are just. ya know gushing about our little spawns and I SEE IT!!!!! A FREAKING, BLEEPING MOUSE!!!! Now I am not really afraid of mice, I don't want to live with them, but if I see them out in the wild I don't crawl up the nearest tree, but I don't want them inside...nope! However, this mouse wasn't of the alive variety...and there is the problem.
IT WAS A DEAD MOUSE and it just magically appeared in my doorway...DEAD!!! Okay, so here's the thing. I don't do dead. I just don't. If something dies in my house, IT IS NOT MY PROBLEM. The fish were hard enough and it took every ounce of everything I had in me to scoop them up with, what I now loving refer to as, The Death Net and put them in a burial receptacle and trust me it usually took me a whole day to gear up to just do that. And really if it was bigger than a fish, or a small spider or it was any form of roach...it is NOT MY PROBLEM!!!! So I have a love/um.."pissed off at" relationship with God, but down deep, I know we're good. "God" hasn't proven that he is a bearded man or woman (eek) or a swirling mass of energy, so I haven't fully committed to what I believe about him/her/it(s) However, I do know this one thing, I DO NOT DO DEAD...not! So, by issuing this heavily executed proclamation, God has spared me from dead things. So there I was, with a problem, dead thing + me = no bueno! So, I'm on the phone freaking out to Momma Music and she was like, okay my father in law is on his way over to our house, why don't I tell him to go over there and get THE DEAD MOUSE!!!! Momma Drama breaths a sigh..."yes, you do that!" And there again, the universe has proven to me, that I don't do dead things!!!!
Papa Music shows up, with a paper towel already in hand and I caution him that some sort of machine powered crane and protective body armor are needed for this job and he waves me off with his ungloved hand and forges into my very messy (ah, flush with embarrassment)house. I can't look. I.Just.Can't.Look. But I hear...."oh he's not dead yet!" Breath Momma Drama, don't faint....breath. But the first thing that comes to mind is "So, what am I supposed to do??? I don't do almost dead either." No really, the first thing that came to mind was, "great shoo him out, close the door and lets be done with this nonsense." However, the poor thing WAS almost dead...oh that's just fantastic, now we have a moral dilemma :( AAHHHH BLAH!!!! I hate moral dilemmas. So my vote was to still shoo it out and close the door. But Papa Music is a devout Christian and a much braver man than me and said..."Well, we should probably kill it" "WHAT?????? DID???? YOU SAY????? Momma Drama...hold back vomit...hold it, HOLD IT! If I don't do dead, I certainly don't do KILL!!!! And in my own warped sense of righteousnesses, sending a poor dying mouse into the world to suffer and expire was much more humane than ending his life and thus his suffering. Well, while looking for some sort of instrument of execution as Papa Music had instructed me to do, he did the deed and it was over...mouse gone. I am very grateful to Papa Music for coming over to my messy (hang head in embarrassment) house to pick up a dead mouse that he ended up having to kill....what a mess. YUCK. And when Diva Dad reads this story he will be quite displeased with Momma Drama, because, he like Papa Music, and unlike me, is also a brave soul, who would have handled the mouse well....so I fail. Whatever...I know how to fail just fine.
And speaking of Failure....(I am just kidding...really, no one needs to call me... I am just fine...really!)
INCREDIBLE STRESSED OUT SINGLE MOMS WHO I LOVE
Okay, I've already rambled on a bit, so I will try and make this brief. I have three single mommy friends, all of them are hot! All our kids are mixed brown and two of us are adoptive moms and one is a bio mom. We are: DIVA MOMMA (yes, I know another diva to keep track of...but trust me SHE IS the definition of Diva) Momma Drama (yours truly) and MOVIE STAR MOMMA (and she is just that)... okay there are the players...here is the logic.
ALL OF US ARE SINGLE MOMS BY CHOICE...okay. Here we go...
I would venture to say that we are not totally single moms by choice, we may have chosen to be moms, but again, I wonder. As some say being gay is a choice (which I don't believe, I am not gay, but have dappled a bit at being "I kissed a girl" gay as any young hot girl, when I was young and hot, would do) so.... I don't know if we chose to be moms, I think we didn't really have a choice as none of us would have chosen any kind of life that didn't have our own children in it. I don't think we chose to be single (who does that?) I think after a string of heartbreaks, loves, life experiences etc. single sort of happened. Trust me, as I said, all three of us ladies are HOT (me not so much anymore, but I was hot, when hot mattered) the other two...still very HOT! So I don't think it was men not wanting us, I think it was us not wanting the men that wanted us, and holding out (possibly) forever for something better. But, like people who are gay, I don't think living without children in our lives was ever a consideration, it simply had to happen, just like gay people chose/or don't really "chose" to love who they love, we chose to parent who we parent.
So...okay. All three of the Hot Mommas are facing a bit of a life crisis at the moment. It looks like Diva Mom and I might be moving abroad together and Movie Star Momma is just praying to get another gig. Now, movie star momma should be in every freaking movie out, she is so awesome, but she, like us (also richly talented) is struggling. Why do we struggle??? Well the economy is in the sh!tter, that's one, but life says to single moms...hey you! You....YOU!!!! YOU scare us! And we do. We single handedly run households, do errands, chores, build financial futures, coif curls, field unwelcome and welcome stares, fight for rights, wipe noses, get therapy, party, enrich lives and such... Do you really think that we are going to take BS from you? THE MAN, do you really think you can tell us that we can't see our kids and that your stinking job is worth more to my life than Mine!!! No, I think not! We also call out BS, when we see it...like Hey You Boss Guy/Girl, that's BS...I don't have time for BS, BS is not on the calendar and seriously don't feed a single mom BS, we just don't have room in our day, so we will, with all kinds of tact and graciousness, wipe your @ss with your BS. We will be picking up our kids from school and we will be spending weekends with them, but guess what you just hired. A DYNAMO, we'll get done in an hour, what your entire corporation can do in a day...why? Well, hell, ya ever been a single mom???? Sheesh, when you do 72 hours of work in 24, you know how to get sh!t done.
Somehow THIS IS SCARY!!! And I can see why.
So, the Hot Single Mommas are in a bit of a spot. Every one of us has tried for a long time to get work/money/more work/more money. We have cried, but we have bucked up. We wear our brave face all day. We only hint at strife to each other and in a few words masked by Mommy Voices that call out and say...I'm losing it today, or um, inside, deep inside, I'm terrified. We all smile our super human smiles and forge on, knowing that with our incredible talent, strength and beauty this craziness must end. And yet we do face it, our kids only seeing cracks in the fissure but not the whole avalanche. I know that the Hot Single Moms will find their way, but I give a shout out to us today (and anyone putting up with all of it, playing the brave fighter!!!) I guess God/or whoever is in charge, wants us on the front line...who knows. But I love you ladies and I'm glad we have each other.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Ahhhh Man...Come on! What? I'm Patient...No Really...Whatever...Go Sit Over There
So, no word from China...this doesn't really mean much, its early in the day/week and I could still here word and then there is always the question about do I wanna hear anything, cause if I did pursue this...wow, wow...yikes. I did a fair amount of cyber travel yesterday and well, a single mom with two brown kids, might just topple China on their ear. And this, in fact, maybe a reason I DON'T GET THE JOB. I'm pretty proud of me and the fact that I went ahead and outted us right away, so it is up to the Shanghai Mouse, to decide if they are really as diverse as they claim. There are other factors too, but this will be a big one.
But this all brings up a big bunch of questions for me, not so much how my family will be perceived abroad, but whether I should take our posse on the road.
It has been a pretty tough (um, come on get real, excruciatingly tough) year for me, financially as making a living solely as a writer, with two young kids on your own is pretty insane. I have done it, amazingly, I have done it, but wow, I'm not sure how. I know I should have an agent, and a manager and all the high powered help that will catapult me to stardom (Hello!) but that's a whole 'nother bag...one that I am willing to dive into, for sure and at the end of the month when the first of my KamiSama series novels is finally born, after, oh my god...decades it feels.
So...its a comin', but damn if it doesn't feel like an eternity!!!! Oh, wait, it is. I am also up for four writing gigs that I am very close to getting and I scored a screenplay, but um, contracts seem so hard to type these days...I guess. Not sure? But I snagged the gig, yet only hearin' crickets' from the "they will send out the contract and initial payment" guys. GRRRRR!!!!
So, do I, like God Mother Mia before us who is now living in Madrid, or Social Worker, Turned Sister is doing now with her to kids to Mexico or China (GO FOR CHINA :), take my kids on the road, sublet my apartment and live abroad for a year? This is a new development for me, but a serious consideration. I have to decide a few things right now... and these are big grown up decisions I hate to make, but the answer is, unless I get a better income flow, I won't be able to continue freelance writing. Which might be a good thing as I can focus on MY work only. I will have this thriller series to write and other ongoing projects, but to be schlepin', pitchin' and beggin' for work daily will probably end. Not a bad thing.
So, my choices are...go into crazy debt and get a masters in social work, (yes, insane u-turn ahead), sign up with a temp agency and work as a secretary (take a knife and gash wrists open with it) move abroad, live a crazy Bohemian abroad mommy lifestyle while teaching English, save money and return home with a big fat pile of cash and hopefully a few books written. The kids will have learned a foreign language and lived in a foreign land. OR continue to apply for work daily and wait for the phone to never, or rarely, or less often than I would like....ring!?
I hate being a grown up sometimes :(
But this all brings up a big bunch of questions for me, not so much how my family will be perceived abroad, but whether I should take our posse on the road.
It has been a pretty tough (um, come on get real, excruciatingly tough) year for me, financially as making a living solely as a writer, with two young kids on your own is pretty insane. I have done it, amazingly, I have done it, but wow, I'm not sure how. I know I should have an agent, and a manager and all the high powered help that will catapult me to stardom (Hello!) but that's a whole 'nother bag...one that I am willing to dive into, for sure and at the end of the month when the first of my KamiSama series novels is finally born, after, oh my god...decades it feels.
So...its a comin', but damn if it doesn't feel like an eternity!!!! Oh, wait, it is. I am also up for four writing gigs that I am very close to getting and I scored a screenplay, but um, contracts seem so hard to type these days...I guess. Not sure? But I snagged the gig, yet only hearin' crickets' from the "they will send out the contract and initial payment" guys. GRRRRR!!!!
So, do I, like God Mother Mia before us who is now living in Madrid, or Social Worker, Turned Sister is doing now with her to kids to Mexico or China (GO FOR CHINA :), take my kids on the road, sublet my apartment and live abroad for a year? This is a new development for me, but a serious consideration. I have to decide a few things right now... and these are big grown up decisions I hate to make, but the answer is, unless I get a better income flow, I won't be able to continue freelance writing. Which might be a good thing as I can focus on MY work only. I will have this thriller series to write and other ongoing projects, but to be schlepin', pitchin' and beggin' for work daily will probably end. Not a bad thing.
So, my choices are...go into crazy debt and get a masters in social work, (yes, insane u-turn ahead), sign up with a temp agency and work as a secretary (take a knife and gash wrists open with it) move abroad, live a crazy Bohemian abroad mommy lifestyle while teaching English, save money and return home with a big fat pile of cash and hopefully a few books written. The kids will have learned a foreign language and lived in a foreign land. OR continue to apply for work daily and wait for the phone to never, or rarely, or less often than I would like....ring!?
I hate being a grown up sometimes :(
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Oh God What Did I Just Do?????
Okay, it is no mystery to any of you that I am in constant search of work. It is the "joy", cough, sputter, wretch....of freelance writing. Only, for whatever reason and I am really not sure what it is, I haven't been able to score a gig that doesn't have me scrambling every month. I get hired...A.LOT!, but nobody pays well :( and I am always competing against someone who can do the job for less, never mind the quality and creativity I bring to the table...pish...who needs that? Bottom line is...Bottom Dollar. At least in the area I have been working in...
SO...okay.
It was late...
I was very tired...
I didn't want to hack anymore people up and my starlet memoir was becoming a jumble in my head...so I went on another search for work, just to you know...switch things up.
And then I saw....
DISNEY....and applied for a job.
Now, I've worked for Disney before so I thought, cool. I must have thought this cool enough to actually submit my resume and such... What didn't register with me was the next word on the job advertisement, my eyes must have blazed past it, or disregarded it...or something funky, because when I got an email from a recruiter in CHINA this morning....I was a little surprised.
After a few email conversations back and forth, well, I should be hearing from her again soon. EEEK. Now, I'm always happy when someone responds to my inquiries and job submissions, so that's cool, I don't really know where this is going, I should find out soon...but um...did I just apply to a job in CHINA?????
Um...I think I did.
Oh dear...I'll keep you posted.
SO...okay.
It was late...
I was very tired...
I didn't want to hack anymore people up and my starlet memoir was becoming a jumble in my head...so I went on another search for work, just to you know...switch things up.
And then I saw....
DISNEY....and applied for a job.
Now, I've worked for Disney before so I thought, cool. I must have thought this cool enough to actually submit my resume and such... What didn't register with me was the next word on the job advertisement, my eyes must have blazed past it, or disregarded it...or something funky, because when I got an email from a recruiter in CHINA this morning....I was a little surprised.
After a few email conversations back and forth, well, I should be hearing from her again soon. EEEK. Now, I'm always happy when someone responds to my inquiries and job submissions, so that's cool, I don't really know where this is going, I should find out soon...but um...did I just apply to a job in CHINA?????
Um...I think I did.
Oh dear...I'll keep you posted.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Ahhh Baby Elmo :( Until Next Time, Little Love....
Well,
Such is the life of a foster care and adoption. Sometimes our worlds are so filled with joy, we feel our sides will split open with sunshine and rainbows will burst through our skin. And on other days, and times in a foster parent's life, the clouds are black with sorrow...
Well, while I am done with adopting and pursuing adoption (at this time) because the Divas are more than a houseful, trust me :) there was this little girl called...well, okay.
I called her Divette, here...so that her Divaliciousness would shine through, but in truth her name is Baby Mo Mo, or if you ask Little Diva, its Baby Elmo. And in our house, Baby Elmo has been her name, in all fairness to Little Diva who will correct you EVERY.TIME. you say Baby Mo Mo, we call her Baby Elmo so not to stress Little Diva too greatly, you know with all the correcting and such.
Baby Elmo is my mom's foster baby and is the sister to Small Postman, my sister's soon to be adopted son. Confused yet???? Just wait...
Well, Baby Elmo was supposed to go to her Grandparents, but some drama ensued and for a second she was going to be adopted by Ga Ga Drama (Grandma) and yours truly, none other than Momma Drama herself. So you read it right, I was this close **** and this far away --- from adopting another child-ish, mostly, sort of...BUT..
There was court today and Baby Elmo is going to her Grandparents...very soon as in before the week is over, soon. Poor Gaga Drama is crushed! And rightfully so, Gaga Drama has done such a great job of healing Baby Elmo from being a scared doe-eyed newborn, to a thriving little bundle of love. She has helped her catch up on her milestones and get more comfortable with strangers, she has loved and adored her...it was The Elmo/Gaga show...and they have always been incredible. I give my mom a lot of credit, props and love for doing the amazing work she continues to do with these children. I couldn't do it...and I know on some days, I think she feels that she can't either. But Gaga Drama...you are amazing and every ounce of love that you have shared with these little people has enriched their lives and the lucky Divas and their cousin The Small Postman are so blessed to have a Gaga Drama as awesome as yourself...and I love you Mom, I really do. I'm proud of you and I'm here for you....ANYTIME!
Now for hopefully good news, outside of My Sister hearing good news about the Small Postman and their adoption of him (which is not final, so any of you who know, know...what I mean when I say...it ain't over till its over...but its pretty good!) so, follow the logic here, Baby Elmo is still SP's sister, Gaga Drama is SP's Grandma, Baby Elmo is going to her Grandparents, who are also SP's Grandparents...so the hope here is that one day, even though separated by a great, super long plane flight, distance, everyone will be one big crazy happy family! Here's hoping, who knows what time will bring, certainly more drama to be sure!!!! but hopefully love and healing too.
So, to Baby Elmo, my almost sister/daughter-now niece...(I know weird) I love you little kiddo and I wish you an incredible journey in this life. I know that Gaga Drama will always miss you and think of you and I hope one day the two of you will reunite and share such stories with one another as you do today, with your eyes bright and happy, your face expressive and joyous.
On that note, we had Baby Elmo while all the drama went down in court today and let me tell you it took two dedicated Divas and a very attentive Momma Drama to even crack a smile on that kid. We were running a full Vaudevillian showcase to a very tough crowd of one, but when Gaga Drama walked in the door it was like Baby Elmo was a totally different kid, there were looks of adoration and love, a smile that beamed from ear to ear and coos and fawning, that the poor exhausted Diva/Dramas could not summons out of Baby Elmo to save our lives. Gladly we passed little Baby Elmo to her adoring fan and together they hugged and snuggled and loved. And we cried.
:(
I told the girls that Baby Elmo was leaving and this would be the last time we saw her for awhile and Big Diva, simply made it make sense to her, she didn't really pay much attention to the loss except for empathy for Gaga Drama and an awesome awareness that some children go back to birth families and some don't. I know that Big Diva will continue to process the loss, but in all fairness to Big Diva, I didn't tell her that Baby Elmo was almost/this close/sort of her sister...which of course is a very good thing.
Little Diva was a different story. While she has no concept of loss at this age, she did show so many nurturing signs and acted like a big protective sister to Baby Elmo most of the time. It was so weird to see MY baby be a big sister. Ya know, when you have two or more kids, you almost expect that your oldest child will be a big something or other, and you embrace it, encourage it and exude pride when it happens. However, when your almost-sort-of-mostly last child shows signs of being a bigger kid, you reject it, ignore it and stand baffled by it, as your youngest is NOT supposed to grow up...at least not too quickly. And yet, it is happening before my eyes and I watched my baby, be a big sister to a babier baby...and it was touching and heartbreaking at the same time. So when we told Little Diva that Baby Elmo was leaving, she adopted one of Baby Elmo's diapers and is sleeping with it now...wow, kids.
So dearest Baby Elmo, I am sure I will see you again and I will be your Auntie...in some capacity, you may never know that I was once your sister and remotely your mother, but I am sure I will sit with you one day and tell you about how much my mother loved you and how much your cousins and brother adored you and even though our visits may be few and far between, you will one day know of a family that loved you, that you may never know you knew...
But my heart is most heavily with Gaga Drama tonight as she packs up bags of little clothes and things and says good bye to her baby. I love you, Mom!
Such is the life of a foster care and adoption. Sometimes our worlds are so filled with joy, we feel our sides will split open with sunshine and rainbows will burst through our skin. And on other days, and times in a foster parent's life, the clouds are black with sorrow...
Well, while I am done with adopting and pursuing adoption (at this time) because the Divas are more than a houseful, trust me :) there was this little girl called...well, okay.
I called her Divette, here...so that her Divaliciousness would shine through, but in truth her name is Baby Mo Mo, or if you ask Little Diva, its Baby Elmo. And in our house, Baby Elmo has been her name, in all fairness to Little Diva who will correct you EVERY.TIME. you say Baby Mo Mo, we call her Baby Elmo so not to stress Little Diva too greatly, you know with all the correcting and such.
Baby Elmo is my mom's foster baby and is the sister to Small Postman, my sister's soon to be adopted son. Confused yet???? Just wait...
Well, Baby Elmo was supposed to go to her Grandparents, but some drama ensued and for a second she was going to be adopted by Ga Ga Drama (Grandma) and yours truly, none other than Momma Drama herself. So you read it right, I was this close **** and this far away --- from adopting another child-ish, mostly, sort of...BUT..
There was court today and Baby Elmo is going to her Grandparents...very soon as in before the week is over, soon. Poor Gaga Drama is crushed! And rightfully so, Gaga Drama has done such a great job of healing Baby Elmo from being a scared doe-eyed newborn, to a thriving little bundle of love. She has helped her catch up on her milestones and get more comfortable with strangers, she has loved and adored her...it was The Elmo/Gaga show...and they have always been incredible. I give my mom a lot of credit, props and love for doing the amazing work she continues to do with these children. I couldn't do it...and I know on some days, I think she feels that she can't either. But Gaga Drama...you are amazing and every ounce of love that you have shared with these little people has enriched their lives and the lucky Divas and their cousin The Small Postman are so blessed to have a Gaga Drama as awesome as yourself...and I love you Mom, I really do. I'm proud of you and I'm here for you....ANYTIME!
Now for hopefully good news, outside of My Sister hearing good news about the Small Postman and their adoption of him (which is not final, so any of you who know, know...what I mean when I say...it ain't over till its over...but its pretty good!) so, follow the logic here, Baby Elmo is still SP's sister, Gaga Drama is SP's Grandma, Baby Elmo is going to her Grandparents, who are also SP's Grandparents...so the hope here is that one day, even though separated by a great, super long plane flight, distance, everyone will be one big crazy happy family! Here's hoping, who knows what time will bring, certainly more drama to be sure!!!! but hopefully love and healing too.
So, to Baby Elmo, my almost sister/daughter-now niece...(I know weird) I love you little kiddo and I wish you an incredible journey in this life. I know that Gaga Drama will always miss you and think of you and I hope one day the two of you will reunite and share such stories with one another as you do today, with your eyes bright and happy, your face expressive and joyous.
On that note, we had Baby Elmo while all the drama went down in court today and let me tell you it took two dedicated Divas and a very attentive Momma Drama to even crack a smile on that kid. We were running a full Vaudevillian showcase to a very tough crowd of one, but when Gaga Drama walked in the door it was like Baby Elmo was a totally different kid, there were looks of adoration and love, a smile that beamed from ear to ear and coos and fawning, that the poor exhausted Diva/Dramas could not summons out of Baby Elmo to save our lives. Gladly we passed little Baby Elmo to her adoring fan and together they hugged and snuggled and loved. And we cried.
:(
I told the girls that Baby Elmo was leaving and this would be the last time we saw her for awhile and Big Diva, simply made it make sense to her, she didn't really pay much attention to the loss except for empathy for Gaga Drama and an awesome awareness that some children go back to birth families and some don't. I know that Big Diva will continue to process the loss, but in all fairness to Big Diva, I didn't tell her that Baby Elmo was almost/this close/sort of her sister...which of course is a very good thing.
Little Diva was a different story. While she has no concept of loss at this age, she did show so many nurturing signs and acted like a big protective sister to Baby Elmo most of the time. It was so weird to see MY baby be a big sister. Ya know, when you have two or more kids, you almost expect that your oldest child will be a big something or other, and you embrace it, encourage it and exude pride when it happens. However, when your almost-sort-of-mostly last child shows signs of being a bigger kid, you reject it, ignore it and stand baffled by it, as your youngest is NOT supposed to grow up...at least not too quickly. And yet, it is happening before my eyes and I watched my baby, be a big sister to a babier baby...and it was touching and heartbreaking at the same time. So when we told Little Diva that Baby Elmo was leaving, she adopted one of Baby Elmo's diapers and is sleeping with it now...wow, kids.
So dearest Baby Elmo, I am sure I will see you again and I will be your Auntie...in some capacity, you may never know that I was once your sister and remotely your mother, but I am sure I will sit with you one day and tell you about how much my mother loved you and how much your cousins and brother adored you and even though our visits may be few and far between, you will one day know of a family that loved you, that you may never know you knew...
But my heart is most heavily with Gaga Drama tonight as she packs up bags of little clothes and things and says good bye to her baby. I love you, Mom!
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