Doing Laundry is Kinda Fun When You are Giving 3/4's of the Stuff Away....

I'm actually enjoying giving away most of the kid's clothes. I must admit that most of the girl's clothes were third or fourth generation hand me downs, that were really cute, gently used and really expensive at the time, but by the time they have gotten to Little Diva they were looking a bit...um...used. So getting rid of them is such a nice feeling. Now, the kids still have an insane amount of brand new, beautiful clothes that I doubt I will be able to part with but each of my kids had about two dressers full of clothes so pairing it down to one big suitcase is very freeing.

I told my landlord that we are moving and she is fully willing and ready to kick the new renters out of my home when we get back... :) um, I'm sorta not kidding. It feels nice to be loved either way.

The issue of where we are going to live is still very unresolved, but I'm getting better with that. We have a HUGE selection of places to live in Beijing, from glamorous micro accomodations, where we will all be crammed into 100 square feet of space or rent a palace on the hill way out of the way (in the burbs) with a nice lay out and some elbow room. So the age old question is...commute or cram???? I still haven't decided yet.

I have joined a mommy's group in Beijing and they are having their first playdate this Friday. I told them we were arriving in July and hope to be kept in the loop for future playdates...that, I must admit was simply a weird experience. I will be missing this playdate in Xiuxu-Wanfu...not sure how to say it park....but there will be more. Um...just a little weirdly normal.

In fact most of the things discussed on my brand new-living-in-Beijing-CHINA!!!! mommy board are simply boring. Many are selling their sit/stand strollers (Momma Drama Pats back for deciding this was the best stroller for Beijing even BEFORE reading that it was in fact the best stroller for Beijing). Um, apparently there are only two weeks left to sign up for Drama camp at the price of my left arm...no thanks. Although Drama camp would be fun DRAT!!!! And someone is in desperate need of a breast pump....hmmmm sounds just like home.

So speaking of home here are the strange and odd housing choices I have found so far.

CLASSIFIED UNDER: SCARY!!!! (but right in the middle of town)

BRING YOUR OWN SEALANT AND PAINT...

AMPLE STORAGE

LIVING ROOM/DINING ROOM and BEDROOM AT YOUR FINGER TIPS....RUN!!!!!!

CLASSIFIED UNDER: MAKE YOUR LIVING ROOM YOUR FOOTBALL FIELD

BEAUTIFUL, BIG, NEAR A SUBWAY, BUT NOT NEAR WORK, BUT DOABLE....MUST CHECK IF IT IS LOCATED ON TOP OF A LAND MINE, NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP, OR ZOMBIE INFESTED ANCIENT BURIAL GROUND...THIS ONE SEEMS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

CLASSIFIED UNDER: FANTASY HOUSING IN FOREST FAR FAR AWAY

NICE :) IN MY PRICE RANGE AND ALL I WOULD NEED IS A PRIVATE JET TO GET TO WORK.

CLASSIFIED UNDER: AHHH WHATEVER, I'LL CLEAN IT TOMORROW

THIS BATHROOM MAKES ME ITCH

CLASSIFIED UNDER STRANGE AND UNUSUAL BILLBOARDS

NO MEN!!!! KEEP OUT!!!! GRRRR.

CLASSIFIED UNDER: BAD, DARKLY LIT, INDY CHINESE FILM WHERE SOMEONE DIES...

NOODLES ANYONE????

CLASSIFIED UNDER: ANGELS CHORUS PART THE CLOUDS...

WOOOO THIS ONE IS BEAUTIFUL AND IN TOWN AND NEAR A SUBWAY....INQUIRE ABOUT ZOMBIES???


http://rent.soufun.com/chuzu/3_17343842_1.htm

This Cheap Dump as advertised on the website looks fun....

Okay, Back from Being MIA...

So I have been kind of missing in action because, I have been on vacation with my cousin/sister and her family in Denver which was so much fun and I love them so much, two I back yard camped in my sister's yard and um...well, lets just say, Mama Music and I will go to our graves laughing over this one!!!! Wink* love ya sis and three...I AM LOSING MY MIND. So um, that's the reason for the silence.

I have signed paperwork and we are working on getting a work visa for China, the girls are going to get their passports tonight and I have decided to sell most of what I own, but for one of those big blue storage thingys and jump headlong into this adventure. I would love to say that I am excited and would even more love to say that everything is arranged and we are ready to go. In truth my mind is a mishmash of "things" that need to be done. I'm still working on my writing assignments, I have to finish boring bureaucratic stuff and um...SELL MY ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD! Never mind the sadness that I am leaving the coolest place I have ever lived in, or my friends and family or that I don't know what I am going to do for Big Diva's first year of Kindergarten, which I might add, I spent almost an entire year getting her into a good school, now...its homeschool? Chinese local school???? Um...tutor...who knows. Little Diva who just started school will have the same problem, Chinese school? Daycare? (in Chinese???) Chill out with Gaga Diva (which is the plan at the moment) SO CONFUSING!!!!!

But the saddest part is, I found out that I can't really take our dog :( I looked into the reality of bringing her (which was my first choice) and with her advanced age, a 30 day quarantine at the airport and a size restriction in Beijing, I am stuck leaving her here. So far, I don't have any takers to foster/care for her while I'm gone and I have to confess this has reduced me to tears. Not so much that people can't take her, I understand people's needs and 15 months is a long time. But, I love my little doggie, she has been and is the best dog in the world. I owe it to her to be happy. I don't want this move, which is sort of a necessity at the moment, to ruin her life.

See...I'm kinda in a haze about everything. I know that since so many doors flung wide open and quickly for this opportunity, there will be an answer for her too, its just sad to look at my little girl and know that her future (like ours) is uncertain.

While I know this is a great life adventure, the stay-put-and-just-raise-your-family side of me is really stressed. The go-for-your-dreams-create-an-incredible-life side of me is giving me a serious high five, but I am of two minds...so there it is..The Raw and the Real of Uprooting Your Entire Family and Moving to CHINA....for Pete's sake.

The Beginning of the Journey...

So, I have a few other posts written that are a little more thoughtful, but I thought I start with something fun as I am still reeling with overwhelmed feelings, thoughts and emotions.

I will be working with a Realtor when I get to China to find a house, but since I am bringing a family, I need to be aware of what is out there so I know what to ask for.

After doing some internet research I found that Beijing is expensive, at least for housing in corporate places, but I found a website that caters to Expats, with more reasonable housing. So I thought you guys would love to see some of these....

Here is the website:
http://rent.soufun.com/house/c23000-d25000-g23-s31/

And here are some of my thoughts. 1) cleanliness doesn't seem to be a priority for some of these folks. Even if their funkadoodle is gonna be in a realty ad. 2) I am already getting a culture lesson on what is considered "good" in Chinese apartment terms, um hot water in at least ONE and usually only ONE sink...bueno! Having a south facing room, extraordinary, um your bed will be a brick and most likely so too will the couch. This is what I have learned so far... 3)You are lucky if you are gonna have an elevator in an 18 floor walk up...oh boy!

Granted this family has kids, so I get it...but um...how about dumping out the bath, just for the photo eh?

Like for example this "Prime location Golden floor with a brick laying on the office of wood."

Here is the "Plant Depression, Suitable for Living" apartment.

Most the descriptions will make you laugh...so as I do some research to prepare us for our journey, I will be sharing with you my insane apartment finds. While they won't end up being my apartment, they will probably be fun to read. :)

Well its all sinking in a bit more...mostly, kind of...not really.

So I have had a few hours to ponder and I am excited-ish, mostly, not, maybe...you know everything that a major change brings.

I know a lot of you are in shock, well, I am too. I have been trying to get a gig that pays more than I am making for a long time now...I'm kind of in a weird spot, cause I want to be a good parent to my kids and continue to write and work. etc. For whatever reason, I haven't been able to hook up a gig that I love that will pay well and still provide me some freedoms. I venture to say that I won't be that free in China, at least job wise, but the job is fun and I will be able to hire help to do the cleaning and stuff so I can devote time to writing and raising my kids while adventuring in a foreign land. When I come home, I hope to be able to move my life to the next level as a higher paid writer. I know that a move around the world seems converse to that, but there will be some trade offs that are (hopefully) gonna be worth it.

Part of me can't wait for the adventure, the smells, the foods, the experience and part of me is as scared, hurt and terrified as I have ever been. When you bring your whole family with you on a journey like this...well, its a lot to take on.

Big Diva's first response was "Can I buy shoes in China?" eeek. But I must say Big Diva has been the biggest, most excited cheerleader of all of us, my sis, Diva Dad and my mom are a close second. I'm the only one that is a little more trepidatious, but I'm the one making the big change in my life.

I know a lot of you are shocked and trust me so am I. I applied on a whim at the recommendation of a friend for a job being a creative, energetic, teacher who sings, acts and can teach a Disney styled curriculum in China as a SUMMER JOB!!!! Did you guys read that??? I applied for a Summer Job. My thinking: this would be a fun way for me and the kids to get out of dodge and enjoy a crazy summer abroad. When a recruiter ask me for some extra paperwork about three months ago, I totally blew them off. I figured it would be too expensive to transport the crew for what they were paying for only two months, so I sent a kind email back saying that I didn't think it was a good fit at this time, well a WEEK ago, I received another email asking me if I would reconsider, that my resume and experience seemed to really fit their needs. So I answered the questions and figured "hey, why not it won't hurt it is only two months" Then I got an email saying I was on a short list...and that IT WAS GOING TO BE FOR AT LEAST A YEAR. When a job I really wanted and was "this****" close to getting fell through (was given to the other candidate), I was crushed, and so I continued to answer the Disney Recruiter's emails, until, I started to think that this might be happening. Today, I had my interview and was told that there was no need for another interview, I was HIRED. The only problem they had was the job they had for me was in Beijing, not Shanghai. Well my sister convinced me that Beijing was actually better for us, because it was less populated, less polluted and probably a better fit for Big Diva, I said "yes" to the job.

Now there are a few unknowns still to sort out that may or may not make this deal a go. One of the reasons they wanted me so badly was because I worked for Disney before as a face character (Snow White, Cinderella etc.) I assured them, that I am NO LONGER, that person and I don't look AT ALL (not in any way shape or form...literally) like a Disney Princess and she assured me that she had seen my picture on my website (www.loriehope.com for the curious) and that this would not be a problem. The OTHER reason they hired me was because I ran a home daycare and had experience with young children, especially teaching an arts based education. So....here is the problem, since I ran my own business, I may have a problem getting a Visa for Beijing, they are going to try to get the Chinese government to accept it, but it may not work. So they have told me that I may be placed in a smaller Chinese city as a result. We are all hoping for Beijing and (Daycare Baby Moms, ie, close friends, I may need letters of reference from you.) So we will see if the Chinese government accepts my Visa documents.

I also have some pretty solid ideas about the worth of children and their place in the future of the planet, they really liked these ideologies.

But...I will be less reverent about all of it...I still think that this is MiniMall Disney English for kiddos, but I'm not going to be sanctimonious, its a good gig and a big adventure.

So...I was going to try and sublet my place and keep it, but I have been convinced and I mostly agree that my stuff is old, and a clean break for a full adventure is better than stressing about what I leave behind. I must say at this point this is the hardest of my decisions as I would really love to just come back home and not sell off everything I own...but what kind of adventurer would I be if I didn't really take the plunge.

But I have to say I have four little kids in my living room watching Phantom of the Opera (they wanted something scary) and they are enthralled, so I am introducing them to Andrew Lloyd Weber and opera and they are loving it and I'd be lying if I said, I wasn't going to miss this with all of my heart.

So, tonight 7 hours after I accepted a job half way around the world, I am exiting the numbness of shock and starting to piece together my new life...

Well, This Blog is Gonna Get a Lot More Exciting....We're Moving to China

Well, I just accepted a position in Beijing, China and my first day of work is July 14th....

At the moment, I who have many thoughts, feelings and words always swirling in my head have absolutely NOTHING going on in there now.

I know this is going to be an adventure, I know that this is going to be an amazing, complicated, vital life experience, and yet...I just can't get my mind working yet. I am sort of in shock.

We will be leaving my beautiful house, selling all my things, packing up what we are keeping, getting on a plane and living in Beijing for the next 15 months and I will be working for the Mouse yet again. At this point this is all I know....

I will tell you this, I'm bringing you along on this adventure...Holy SH!T I didn't call this blog Momma Drama, for nothing...wow, welcome to the ride!!!!!!

Oh So You Run a Daycare???? Huh?

I took the Divas to the park yesterday, cause really I am trying to avoid cleaning the house. Wait: Segue for a second for house rant!!!

WHYYYYYYYYY Can't my house stay clean. I am so.over.it! Grrr. I spent most of Saturday, sweating, scrubbing, cleaning and organizing stuff....and today, only Tuesday...it is an absolute MESS. I am exhausted, have 25 pages to write and another blog and yet...all I can see is mess everywhere and I am blah...grrr. RUFFF! Okay...back to it.

So, we are at the park and we are playing, just ya know...playing. My kids have called me mom many times and I have come a runnin', I was pushing swings, picking sand out of hair, wiping two drippy noses, you know the stuff us MOMS do...and I hear from behind me...

LADY: "Do you run a daycare or something?"

I look at her and say.

MD: "huh?"

She continues with...

LADY: "Are you a babysitter or something?"

Now this is a middle aged woman, not a teenager. I simply note that she is being rather intrusive and answers.

MD: "These are my kids."

Hoping this will be the end of the conversation.

LADY: (Nope, not the end of the conversation) Those two right there?

MD: (thinking: Are you a freaking IDIOT, as Big Diva is quipping Mommy Mommy Mommy like a chirping squirrel) Yes.

LADY: The little black girls?

MD: (OH FOR GOD SAKES WOMAN!!!! YES THE BLACK GIRLS) Yes.

LADY: Are they yours?

MD: (WHAT DID I JUST SAY?) Yes.

LADY: How old are they?

MD: (strange conversational turn but okay, I go there) 2 and 5

LADY: Your oldest is FIVE???? She looks like she's seven.

MD: I know, she's tall and smart.

LADY: Really, Five huh, wow. Really? (she is now looking at me like there is no way I know the exact age of my daughter).

MD: Yep. 5!

LADY: Hmmmm.

MD: (To Divas) Girls, its just about time to go home (or get away from weird playground lady)

LADY: This is my son (introduces tall teenager)

MD: He's tall too.

LADY: Yes, he's my youngest.

MD: (Yeah you.) Ahhh sweet.

LADY: So are they from Africa?"

MD: (OH HOLY MOTHER FUCKING GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????)No. Los Angeles.

LADY: (wearing perplexed look) Ahhh, really? And they're yours?

MD: (Good bye) Yes. (Decides that this might just get more painful so say) I adopted them.

LADY (look of anguish releases into a warm smile) That is so amazing, more people should help kids like that. You are so amazing, those poor little girls and they are so cute too.

MR: (GRRRRRR) Yeah okay, well, time to go, come on girls lets go.

While rounding up kids, I hear the woman go on and on about the girls and adoption. I didn't hear too much of it, but enough to know that this was something she just needed to hash out with her tall son.

So, it certainly wasn't horrible and I know that we look odd to a lot of people, but its not hard to guess what's going on and really you don't have to know other than your curiosity dictates that you know.

Plus, my kids are NOT POOR LITTLE GIRLS...not in the slightest. So please, don't refer to them as such. In fact if you were lucky enough to spend anytime with my "poor little children" you would probably be treated to some sort of singing and dancing performance that would quickly segue into them charming you into fetching them things and doing just as they directed you to do. They will charm you, my poor little children, then use their wit, beauty and glowing personalities to have you buy them things, get them things, become a human jungle gym, etc. So, while you are envisioning some starving child on the Savannah just about to be eaten by a hungry tiger, my kids are thinking about how they are going to get you to toss them over your head one more time. My kids are leaders, fashionistas, gourmands, rock stars, artists and more importantly CEO's of their existence and they are not, nor ever have been "poor little things" SO THERE!

I have to confess to being curious as well when I have seen families like ours and am always a little surprised when they don't want to be buddies or share the secret "I adopted my kids" wink with each other. So I get it.

But there was another mom at the playground who was dying to know as well, she heard all of the stuff, said that Little Diva was stunning, asked if it was hard to get sand out of her hair, which it is and she had just poured a bucket of it on her head, so yeah, very hard. And I did strike up a friendship with this lady and we will probably see her again. This was tactful and nice and respectful of our family and my privacy.

I admit to being curious about people and their families, but just because I adopted kids, that look like they are adopted, doesn't mean that our story or our lives are for strangers to dissect.

And I am not at all ashamed of or afraid to talk about adoption, in fact I often use it as a means to recruit more people to it, but Big Diva is over adoption talk, she's just my kid and she doesn't want it hashed out on the playground and I agree with her. I'm fine sharing, but she's getting to an age where she isn't...so I want to mindful of her needs and Little Diva's as they grow. But it was weird....and normal, and weirdly our normal to be called out in public like that.

Really, Wow! Okay...well...okay...and the Disney Apocolypse

So I have my interview for China on Wednesday. I have been doing more research because the recruiter told me that if I am selected, then our move will happen pretty fast, so moving with a household full of people will be a significant feat. I think having an idea about what I'm getting into before the interview is a good strategy at least in my book.

Okay, so one of my greatest fears about moving to China (that is IF I get hired) is Big Diva's special needs. I also worry about school, since I won't be able to afford for her to go to an International School and I think the local Chinese school might be AWFUL (just a guess) for her cause she doesn't speak the language, is brown and has sensory processing disorder. China is loud, crowded and rich with extraordinary stimuli. I feel that my child will probably crumble into a corner and chew her hand off. (yes, just a fear) Usually Big Diva is game for Big Adventure, but this might just be too big.

So in my perusing the web, I have found a Shanghai Home Schooling Mommy's group or SHARE as they call it. While I don't see how I am going to be able to home school, write and hold a full time job, I will have to let that piece of the puzzle fit later (if there is any need of it at all), but what I FOUND ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE!!!!!! Is that this same Shanghai Expat Community Center that provides the Homeschoolers a place to hang out and well...homeschool, also have....are you ready for this...

http://www.communitycenter.cn/shanghaichosenfamilies.asp

A SUPPORT GROUP FOR FAMILIES WITH SPECIAL NEEDS KIDS....and get this, they have a special division for kids with Sensory Processing Disorder!!!!! Including a Mom/Mom buddy system pairing a new mom (either to Shanghai or diagnosis) with a more seasoned Mom (or Dad). Can you believe that???? I can't, I thought that if I get this job, one of my biggest concerns is what would I do if I had a tantrumming, crying, hand chewing disaster on my hands and no help in sight. I love Big Diva, in fact I absolutely adore her, but sometimes her special needs are beyond my skills. That's why we see Nice Therapist, she helps give me regulating techniques that allows Big Diva the opportunity to become Beautiful Big Diva without the stress of sensory stuff.

Say like when we went to Disneyland on Friday and she wanted a spectacular Sleeping Beauty Night Gown. Now I will give her this, she has not only out grown, but worn out her other spectacular Sleeping Beauty Night Gown, shown here in its original state...

She was 19 months old when she bought her last one and now she is 5. So, I can see her logic as to why she thought she needed another. She has a scad of amazing, glamorous princess nightwear, but this one was special. I know. Problem simply is, I can't really afford it right now AND more importantly, I don't want her to think that she gets a gift every time we go to Disney. We are very blessed to be able to go to Disney so often because we have passes. So, this brought on the mother of all tantrums, really the Camping Rapture...NOTHING!!! compared to the The Big Diva Tantrum. And she decided to do it in front of a billion little princesses standing in line with their wanna-be-but-are-now-too-old-fat-or-haggard-Princess mothers, to see the Disney Princesses. Did I say it was huge...I mean COLOSSAL!!!

She was hitting me with both hands AND feet, screaming AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS and wailing like someone had just run over her cat. Now this mind you, was just after, I had to chase Little Diva down and put her in her stroller, which she kicked over while I was trying to place her in it. Then Big Diva brings out the big guns and I'm about to get Disney's Mother of the Year award. So, Nice Therapist showed me a lovely sensory choke hold restraint system that helps a deregulated, sensory seeker, find balance again. It pretty much looks like a full on body restraint. I glance over at the 200 or so faces of horror, including the dude who quietly whisks away stray popcorn kernels and Disney Debris, staring at us. Their expressions were that of HORROR!!!! to a degree so incensed and scathing, that no Disney Villain has ever been able to muster what Momma Drama, the ultimate Disney Villain and anti-capitalist mom, drew forth.

I issued a consequence when Big Diva was calm enough to simply plead, long, high pitched cadences of abject desire and move towards the exit as WE WERE LEAVING...oh did I mention that my children are brown???? And I am not brown???? Yep..."those poor kids" is what I heard from the sidelines...

Big Diva did switch up her pleading when her distance from the night gown continued to grow, now it was "Please Mommy I DON'T WANT TO GO, PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME LEAVE!!!!"

Then I heard "aahhhh, poor thing doesn't want to leave". AAAAGGGHHHHHHH

Okay. So did I HATE doing that? Yes. Did I want to buy her the dress. YESSSS!!!!!! Did I think that she would look amazing in it and love it! YES! (she is so good at really cherishing things she loves) but I stood by my resolve not to continue to "spoil" her and help her learn a little about impulse control, by also hopefully teaching her to work for your desires. But, boy that is a really hard lesson. So when I got them to the car and broke down into tears, Big Diva apologized and fell asleep the minute the car got on the freeway.

The next day Big Diva stopped me and really apologized again for hitting me and losing control in front of the princesses. She did tell me how much she wanted the dress and I agreed with her that it is something she should have. We have a deal on the table now, where if she can try and use her anger techniques (that she is learning) to cope with her anger and not lash out at her sister or myself, then, we will see about getting her the dress. She's got a time frame in place and she is on task. So hopefully the great Disney Apocalypse of 2011 has helped us learn something...but she's 5, so we have wiggle room.

What happened when she lost it at Disney? Well, we had been at Disney a long time, Disney is really stimulating, it was almost 3pm and we had been there since 9am, she is processing the loss of Baby Mo Mo, which ALWAYS makes her process the loss of her mother and in turn her sister, who we need to see soon, and then her God mom and God Father who have moved...etc. And she was tired...and simply wanted an elegant dress....and stuff.

So, one of my biggest fears about moving to China, if we get the chance, is this. What will I do in a crowded street, WITH NO CAR to escape to, but rather a crowded subway or bus, with more public scrutiny, only we are the ONLY Brown/white family in whole country (unless Diva Mom and children come) where I don't speak the language (which might not be a bad thing), IT IS SCARY!!!! SO to read that Shanghai has a special needs support group for kids with Sensory Processing Disorder???? HELL YA that's amazing.

So, if we go..I'm SO GLAD they have something like that, cause trust me, I'll be there, with cookies and punch ready to make mommy friends...or tea and dumplings...whatever, I'mma need their help.