So...here is a link to an article that I find arrogant and disgusting...granted, I often am angered by parents that don't discipline their children...so I get it, but what I am most angry about is a society that doesn't provide parents with healthy family choices that allows us to live our lives in peace and harmony.
Yes, I am a single parent...and yes it was my choice...and I adopted "special needs" kids. Or are they just "kids" regardless, does this condemn me to NEVER going out to eat, NEVER sitting on an airplane, NEVER enjoying a phone conversation that doesn't cost me ($30K, the cost of my children's schooling over the last five years) which I had to raise ALONE...and no I did not go to a bar and get knocked up to have a kid, I adopted "special needs kids" which essentially "no one wanted", which is untrue, plenty of people wanted them, but I digress.
So this article got me fired up
http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/07/05/granderson.bratty.kids/index.html
Sorry you will have to cut and paste it, I can't get blogger to link to the site.
And not because, unruly kids are annoying, cause they are, but because society hasn't given us a great place other than Chuck E. Cheese (expensive and disgusting) or Mc Donalds (expensive and disgusting) to go and have our children be children in peace.
And don't get me started about the airlines, I am TERRIFIED to take my kids on the plane to China, Little Diva was such a pain in the patoot on our Denver trip, I have no idea what she has in store for us on a 17 hour journey to China. I stayed up for almost 24 hours before our Denver trip getting ready, working on writing assignments, going to therapy for the kids etc, that I was vastly sleep deprived when I arrived at the airport and then to have my kid act up the whole way and physically have to subdue her for three hours was excruciating. I sang, talked, cuddled, sang, played, talked, disciplined, etc...only to have her finally fall asleep (which she needed) when we landed, which meant lugging luggage, a heavy 35lbs toddler, while holding a sleepy 5 year old's hand through a crowded airport. Remember mom is working on less than three hours sleep and my shoes cut a hole in my foot that was bleeding.
So.... I will say this and I will say it boldly F* and I mean that in the very bad word sense YOU people who think you are holier than thou and who also think that smacking, spanking and otherwise hauling off and hitting your kids is a great way to parent. I will admit that I have done it and really...I have seen zero positive results from it. The techniques I have learned in therapy are better suited to my kids...but what plane has an angry center...much less a place for kids to exert their anxiety (and yes they have it) or energy on a plane...which brings me to the point of my post.
AMERICA!!!! THE FREE...THE BOLD...or DISNEY! Please create a family friendly airline!!!!! PLEASE!!!! Please make it affordable and mousified so that our little ones are happy, loved and entertained, we will look at other parents wrangling screaming toddlers and offer goldfish, organic apple bars or a look of loving support to say "hey I've been there" let there be wii at the chair back consoles and motionless tables that don't disturb the seat in front of you, have flight attendants pass out crayons and toys...really I'll pay for it, just not to be demonized by the mass public of "hands off dads" and "career minded" people who secretly hate my kids even though I have braved sleep deprivation, forgone personal hygiene and nourishment to ensure that my every moment is spent trying to keep my rambunctious toddler quiet so that she doesn't disturb your flight, one that I have have spent the same money on. Trust me, my fight is a million times worse than yours because I am trying to make "you" happy.
And while we are at it Entrepreneurial America, can we get a family restaurant that is fun, nice and loves kids that isn't over priced or disgusting....I would do it, I would create one, but I'm really busy raising my kids...trust me you will make MILLIONS just create a family friendly airline and a chain of restaurants that serve great food at a good price that loves children!!!!! So you! and your "I can't sleep with screaming babies" attitude can have your first class...fine!....just give us Disney Air!!!! And first class families with first class brats...will have the time of their lives.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Summer Lovin' in the Hood
So, I am bound an determined to enjoy the last summer for a while in our little hood. While I assume that next year's Chinese summer will be full of fun and excitement, I want to just soak up all the fun we already know at home.
We had to use our annual passes at Disney before July 2 because they would no longer be valid during the black out dates and we would be gone when they opened up again. So I told the girls, we are "gonna shut the place down" I picked the kids up after school and drove them in hot traffic which drew forth wails of discomfort and protest, but both fell asleep. SCORE!!! We parked in Downtown Disney parking (note to all Disney goers and Pass holders if you park in the Downtown Disney parking the first 3 hours are free, then if you get a validation from one of the restaurants...like say the ESPN Zone, that makes you get the validation at the store...so *wink, who would know if you ate in the restaurant or not...I know evil to cheat the mouse especially now that he is my employer, but a poor girl gotta do what a poor girl gotta do. Anyway the validation will get you two more free hours and then the price is $3.00 for each hour after, sure beats the $15.00 the park charges). So we park there, take the monorail into Tomorrowland, IMMEDIATELY BUY THE NIGHTGOWN WHICH WAS THE SUBJECT OF LAST MONTH'S ALL DAY/LEAVE DISNEY BECAUSE OF... TANTRUM. After the purchase Big Diva issued a vow that she would never remove it, and well, it is day 3 and she has worn it non stop, she has swam in it, showered in it, slept in it, I am afraid to make her take it off, but since tomorrow is school, I know she will relent, so why break her spirit. :) We then did all of the rides, watched the fireworks show and partied hard for hours until...WE SHUT THE PLACE DOWN and I took my happy little divas home at 1:30AM...guess whose parking was absolutely free???? Yep, only people still standing at Disney, other than the night clean up crew was a newlywed couple and their bridal party frolicking in the parking lot, looking like a fragrance commercial. It was surreal and perfect. :) Thanks Disney, till next time. :)
Now we are in 4th of July mode and I am about to go out and buy some illegal fireworks to pass out to the young children in my hood. How'z that for responsible parenting. But my parents did it, so I have the right.
And the kids have been playing in the pool ALL DAY, EVERYDAY which has been so much fun. Please Hair Police, both of the girl's hair is horrid, I tried a new style on Indya that was a FAIL, and both have been in the pool two and three times a day, so it looks whack, but they are happy so to Hair Hater's (which I don't believe any read my blog, but if a secret hair hater does...be warned :) go get some BBQ and leave the Divas to their summer pool time fun.
And on that note, I will bore you no more, I present SUMMER LOVIN' IN THE HOOD!
We had to use our annual passes at Disney before July 2 because they would no longer be valid during the black out dates and we would be gone when they opened up again. So I told the girls, we are "gonna shut the place down" I picked the kids up after school and drove them in hot traffic which drew forth wails of discomfort and protest, but both fell asleep. SCORE!!! We parked in Downtown Disney parking (note to all Disney goers and Pass holders if you park in the Downtown Disney parking the first 3 hours are free, then if you get a validation from one of the restaurants...like say the ESPN Zone, that makes you get the validation at the store...so *wink, who would know if you ate in the restaurant or not...I know evil to cheat the mouse especially now that he is my employer, but a poor girl gotta do what a poor girl gotta do. Anyway the validation will get you two more free hours and then the price is $3.00 for each hour after, sure beats the $15.00 the park charges). So we park there, take the monorail into Tomorrowland, IMMEDIATELY BUY THE NIGHTGOWN WHICH WAS THE SUBJECT OF LAST MONTH'S ALL DAY/LEAVE DISNEY BECAUSE OF... TANTRUM. After the purchase Big Diva issued a vow that she would never remove it, and well, it is day 3 and she has worn it non stop, she has swam in it, showered in it, slept in it, I am afraid to make her take it off, but since tomorrow is school, I know she will relent, so why break her spirit. :) We then did all of the rides, watched the fireworks show and partied hard for hours until...WE SHUT THE PLACE DOWN and I took my happy little divas home at 1:30AM...guess whose parking was absolutely free???? Yep, only people still standing at Disney, other than the night clean up crew was a newlywed couple and their bridal party frolicking in the parking lot, looking like a fragrance commercial. It was surreal and perfect. :) Thanks Disney, till next time. :)
Now we are in 4th of July mode and I am about to go out and buy some illegal fireworks to pass out to the young children in my hood. How'z that for responsible parenting. But my parents did it, so I have the right.
And the kids have been playing in the pool ALL DAY, EVERYDAY which has been so much fun. Please Hair Police, both of the girl's hair is horrid, I tried a new style on Indya that was a FAIL, and both have been in the pool two and three times a day, so it looks whack, but they are happy so to Hair Hater's (which I don't believe any read my blog, but if a secret hair hater does...be warned :) go get some BBQ and leave the Divas to their summer pool time fun.
And on that note, I will bore you no more, I present SUMMER LOVIN' IN THE HOOD!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
This will probably be the longest post you will ever read from me...so grab a beverage and a blanket!!! Or..."For the Love of a Dog"
I will admit that for the last month I have been dormant, on this blog, in my creative life, in my home life in all things...moving and doing, outside of parenting children, I have been almost totally immobile. This is actually quite a new feeling, one which I have never really experienced and it breaks down like this.
1. Move from my home = don't want to do it.
2. Sell all of my things = harder than you think
3. Say good bye to friends = sucks
4. Four bags (not news to any of you I am sure) = is absolutely NOT enough space to fit the lives of 3 people, two of whom are rock star level divas.
5. THE MOST IMPORTANT...say "Good bye" to your dog = FUCKS YOU UP IN SUCH A WAY THAT YOU CONSIDER GETTING A ZOLOFT DRIP!!!!
So seriously I have been completely immobilized by the fact that I didn't have a plan for my amazing dog Shiloh :( No one wanted her and I completely understand (shhh, no one knows this) but I probably wouldn't take anyone's dog either...so I understand entirely. I would have moved her to Beijing, but the Beijing police will confiscate dogs (which means kill) who are larger than one foot tall (from shoulder to floor) if they are found on the streets. I could have moved out to the suburbs, which are quite beautiful, but then I would have to commute 1.45 to 2 hours each way for work, which means I leave my girls without their mommy for over 12 hours a day, this is not what they are used to and not what I want for them. So it meant finding a home for her while we were in China, this seized my heart. When the offers from good hearted people didn't amount to a real option for her, I shut down. I was on serious auto pilot and nearly couldn't function.
Most people think of animals as that...animals, but Shiloh, my amazing little girl, is my first child. She saved my life, sort of, she helped me through a sad time in my life and lead me to Diva Dad (we lived in the same building) and she fell in love with his big beautiful dog Taos (who we lost last year). She jumped off of a 6 story building when Diva Dad tried to give her a bath on the rooftop veranda of our building and LIVED!!! She graciously let a screaming drug exposed baby into our lives and then she allowed Daycare baby cousins take over the house and then another little sister, with each she dutifully stood guard while they slept, played and learned about life. She tolerated ear tugging, hitting and tail pulling, begrudgingly allowing her little brood to mistreat her as they learned about the world and came to respect her as their protector, friend and bed buddy. She is kind, loving and obedient, her only fault is a need to beg for food, which toddlers have so plentifully supplied her and a need to be near. Outside of that, she is the cat/dog - Nanny Dog- and mommy's very first baby and best friend.
At first I was very sad that Diva Dad couldn't take her, but I understand his work and need for freedom, then there were all the friends who already had dogs and kids...which again, I totally understood, but it left my beautiful girl alone, "unwanted" and then an offer came...
It was for an assisted living facility who wanted her to help with the elderly in their care. Since she is a care taker, this would have been a really good role for her so I called and I was told that, yes, they want her, but they would want to KEEP her as the residents don't want to lose her after they bonded with her. At first I said "yes" (after having NO OTHER OPTIONS) and then on the day that I was washing her and grooming her for her first meeting (and shortly after, her transition to the home) I CRASHED. I sat with on the floor with her and I sobbed, heaving, heartfelt, gutteral sobs. I couldn't do it, I couldn't give my girl away. I know that some people can, but I can't. I just couldn't do it to her, I promised her that I would be there for her, at her last moment in life and here I was giving her away because she was "inconvenient" to me it felt as if I had sentenced her to death.
So I boldly called the lady and I told her "no" I couldn't give my baby away, she understood, and even though I didn't have another plan for Shiloh, I was firm on my decision to NOT give her away, even if she would have been fulfilling a noble cause and would have been deeply loved, I couldn't do it.
So I went to Facebook in my numb defeated state and read a post from a dear friend I had never "met", but have known for years. We are truly soul sisters as some of us are in the cyber world. I have a few Soul Sisters, I haven't met, but plan to soon. She is a person who wrote a blog on the adoption website all of us frequented and over the years we became the closest of friends, we held each other up in sadness and rejoiced in joy. When I started my blog, I was a young (in my idea of young) woman who felt utterly unprepared and unqualified to become a mom, but over the course of six years I am not only a mom, but a very good mother, for whom the title of "Mother" walks in the door before I do. She was already a mom before she became and adoptive parent, but walked through the minefield of foster adoption to finally adopt her two sons and become so much more of a mother, friend and mentor. She offered to take Shiloh and the weight that had been hanging on me like a sack of bricks finally lifted. :)
So not only does my dearest little girl have a great place to crash, I get to meet a long time friend for the first time. And this is where I get to thank God or whoever, for bringing this amazing set of life experiences together. I remember when I started my blog on the adoption website, it was on a whim and prompted by my anxiety to adopt a child, a child I had initially felt unqualified to raise, not because I wouldn't be good at it, but because I wasn't married and felt that I hadn't achieved much of live's success. But I wrote and wrote and wrote to alleviate my fears and soon other bloggers commented and became friends, they followed me through this blog and that as I tried to hold onto anonymity. And if I had never typed that first word of an anonymous blog that because a top ten read blog on the adoption site and had I never read other blogs and reached out to women who I admired, I would have missed out on so much of life and friendship and now a "friend" and fellow blogger has saved my sanity by taking Shiloh into her home and offering her and I peace of mind and peace of spirit.
Even if something were to happen to Shiloh, I know that she will be okay, I know that she will be loved and will be guarding and protecting children, even reluctantly as she does, she will take on the role she is so proud of. She will snuggle with adults and be in a home full of love. She will have a puppy to tame and keep her young and we will be able to Skype her, so that she knows we didn't leave her behind (at least not in our hearts). This has given me such a great amount of relief that I am finally able to blog again and live again, knowing that my oldest little girl will be okay. So to "Forever Family" I love you so much and I am beyond excited to finally get to meet you!!!!!!
So, I am feeling better as I try and put an entire house, 43 years of life and two kid's stuff into four suitcases and the odd carry on item. THIS.IS.NOT.EASY.
While I was totally of the slash and burn mindset, my heart tugged and pulled and tugged and pulled and pulled (yes, yes...get on with it!!!). So I decided to rent a pod and save some of my very favorite things and thus came another sense of relief.
Well, for the last few nights I have woken up in my home and I have been sobbing, I wake up in the middle of the night I am just heaving tears in my sleep. I assessed worried and assessed again and discovered that my stress was over leaving my dog AND leaving my home. While I have only been here a year, it was the place I planned on raising my children. Even though the neighbors are crazy, I still felt like this place was our home. So, I went back to sleep after a good cry and had a dream. In my dream, God or whoever said, "why don't you just put an ad up on Craigslist for a subletter and see what happens. If it is 'meant to be' it will be, if it is not...then you will stop crying!"
So, I did that I put an ad up on craigslist for someone to sublet my apartment while I was gone. In exactly 2.3 minutes a man answered the ad saying that the apartment was an answer to his prayers, the time frame was strangely perfect and that he could commit to the whole time and then leave, back to his home. WOW!!! And he doesn't want any of my stuff, so I continue to purge and free myself of clutter BUT!!!!!!!! I DON'T LOSE MY HOME!!!!!! Yeah!!!! Even if I don't come back here (cause all my stuff will still be in storage and essentially I will be moved out of here) knowing that I CAN, gives me an incredible peace of mind and with it... mental well being and with that I can continue to forge forward. But, just a few days ago, the guy flaked, however I have a few other offers and know that the right person will move in here and for that I feel a great sense of peace.
Okay...so I can't even tell you how little DOES fit into the suitcases, but I will persevere :) It just um...ISN'T A LOT...no really IT ISN'T....eeeekkkkkk!
Now back to where to live in Beijing.
CATEGORIZED UNDER: STRANGE STUFFED PETS
Stuffed and Wall Mounted Turtle...
Stuffed Whippet??? Deer?
Doll Suicide????
CLASSIFIED UNDER: PARTYING DANGEROUSLY
Can I interest anyone in some crack?
The previous tenant was clearly a rock star...
CATAGORIZED UNDER: UMMM...NO!
Squatty Potty anyone...Oh Hell NO!
Puppy Potty!
Three Woks, Check! Four Sponges, Check! Rat Trap in the corner, Set! (iccccckeeee!)
CATEGORIZED IN: DIZZY DISNEY
Wall to Wall Mouse!
1. Move from my home = don't want to do it.
2. Sell all of my things = harder than you think
3. Say good bye to friends = sucks
4. Four bags (not news to any of you I am sure) = is absolutely NOT enough space to fit the lives of 3 people, two of whom are rock star level divas.
5. THE MOST IMPORTANT...say "Good bye" to your dog = FUCKS YOU UP IN SUCH A WAY THAT YOU CONSIDER GETTING A ZOLOFT DRIP!!!!
So seriously I have been completely immobilized by the fact that I didn't have a plan for my amazing dog Shiloh :( No one wanted her and I completely understand (shhh, no one knows this) but I probably wouldn't take anyone's dog either...so I understand entirely. I would have moved her to Beijing, but the Beijing police will confiscate dogs (which means kill) who are larger than one foot tall (from shoulder to floor) if they are found on the streets. I could have moved out to the suburbs, which are quite beautiful, but then I would have to commute 1.45 to 2 hours each way for work, which means I leave my girls without their mommy for over 12 hours a day, this is not what they are used to and not what I want for them. So it meant finding a home for her while we were in China, this seized my heart. When the offers from good hearted people didn't amount to a real option for her, I shut down. I was on serious auto pilot and nearly couldn't function.
Most people think of animals as that...animals, but Shiloh, my amazing little girl, is my first child. She saved my life, sort of, she helped me through a sad time in my life and lead me to Diva Dad (we lived in the same building) and she fell in love with his big beautiful dog Taos (who we lost last year). She jumped off of a 6 story building when Diva Dad tried to give her a bath on the rooftop veranda of our building and LIVED!!! She graciously let a screaming drug exposed baby into our lives and then she allowed Daycare baby cousins take over the house and then another little sister, with each she dutifully stood guard while they slept, played and learned about life. She tolerated ear tugging, hitting and tail pulling, begrudgingly allowing her little brood to mistreat her as they learned about the world and came to respect her as their protector, friend and bed buddy. She is kind, loving and obedient, her only fault is a need to beg for food, which toddlers have so plentifully supplied her and a need to be near. Outside of that, she is the cat/dog - Nanny Dog- and mommy's very first baby and best friend.
At first I was very sad that Diva Dad couldn't take her, but I understand his work and need for freedom, then there were all the friends who already had dogs and kids...which again, I totally understood, but it left my beautiful girl alone, "unwanted" and then an offer came...
It was for an assisted living facility who wanted her to help with the elderly in their care. Since she is a care taker, this would have been a really good role for her so I called and I was told that, yes, they want her, but they would want to KEEP her as the residents don't want to lose her after they bonded with her. At first I said "yes" (after having NO OTHER OPTIONS) and then on the day that I was washing her and grooming her for her first meeting (and shortly after, her transition to the home) I CRASHED. I sat with on the floor with her and I sobbed, heaving, heartfelt, gutteral sobs. I couldn't do it, I couldn't give my girl away. I know that some people can, but I can't. I just couldn't do it to her, I promised her that I would be there for her, at her last moment in life and here I was giving her away because she was "inconvenient" to me it felt as if I had sentenced her to death.
So I boldly called the lady and I told her "no" I couldn't give my baby away, she understood, and even though I didn't have another plan for Shiloh, I was firm on my decision to NOT give her away, even if she would have been fulfilling a noble cause and would have been deeply loved, I couldn't do it.
So I went to Facebook in my numb defeated state and read a post from a dear friend I had never "met", but have known for years. We are truly soul sisters as some of us are in the cyber world. I have a few Soul Sisters, I haven't met, but plan to soon. She is a person who wrote a blog on the adoption website all of us frequented and over the years we became the closest of friends, we held each other up in sadness and rejoiced in joy. When I started my blog, I was a young (in my idea of young) woman who felt utterly unprepared and unqualified to become a mom, but over the course of six years I am not only a mom, but a very good mother, for whom the title of "Mother" walks in the door before I do. She was already a mom before she became and adoptive parent, but walked through the minefield of foster adoption to finally adopt her two sons and become so much more of a mother, friend and mentor. She offered to take Shiloh and the weight that had been hanging on me like a sack of bricks finally lifted. :)
So not only does my dearest little girl have a great place to crash, I get to meet a long time friend for the first time. And this is where I get to thank God or whoever, for bringing this amazing set of life experiences together. I remember when I started my blog on the adoption website, it was on a whim and prompted by my anxiety to adopt a child, a child I had initially felt unqualified to raise, not because I wouldn't be good at it, but because I wasn't married and felt that I hadn't achieved much of live's success. But I wrote and wrote and wrote to alleviate my fears and soon other bloggers commented and became friends, they followed me through this blog and that as I tried to hold onto anonymity. And if I had never typed that first word of an anonymous blog that because a top ten read blog on the adoption site and had I never read other blogs and reached out to women who I admired, I would have missed out on so much of life and friendship and now a "friend" and fellow blogger has saved my sanity by taking Shiloh into her home and offering her and I peace of mind and peace of spirit.
Even if something were to happen to Shiloh, I know that she will be okay, I know that she will be loved and will be guarding and protecting children, even reluctantly as she does, she will take on the role she is so proud of. She will snuggle with adults and be in a home full of love. She will have a puppy to tame and keep her young and we will be able to Skype her, so that she knows we didn't leave her behind (at least not in our hearts). This has given me such a great amount of relief that I am finally able to blog again and live again, knowing that my oldest little girl will be okay. So to "Forever Family" I love you so much and I am beyond excited to finally get to meet you!!!!!!
So, I am feeling better as I try and put an entire house, 43 years of life and two kid's stuff into four suitcases and the odd carry on item. THIS.IS.NOT.EASY.
While I was totally of the slash and burn mindset, my heart tugged and pulled and tugged and pulled and pulled (yes, yes...get on with it!!!). So I decided to rent a pod and save some of my very favorite things and thus came another sense of relief.
Well, for the last few nights I have woken up in my home and I have been sobbing, I wake up in the middle of the night I am just heaving tears in my sleep. I assessed worried and assessed again and discovered that my stress was over leaving my dog AND leaving my home. While I have only been here a year, it was the place I planned on raising my children. Even though the neighbors are crazy, I still felt like this place was our home. So, I went back to sleep after a good cry and had a dream. In my dream, God or whoever said, "why don't you just put an ad up on Craigslist for a subletter and see what happens. If it is 'meant to be' it will be, if it is not...then you will stop crying!"
So, I did that I put an ad up on craigslist for someone to sublet my apartment while I was gone. In exactly 2.3 minutes a man answered the ad saying that the apartment was an answer to his prayers, the time frame was strangely perfect and that he could commit to the whole time and then leave, back to his home. WOW!!! And he doesn't want any of my stuff, so I continue to purge and free myself of clutter BUT!!!!!!!! I DON'T LOSE MY HOME!!!!!! Yeah!!!! Even if I don't come back here (cause all my stuff will still be in storage and essentially I will be moved out of here) knowing that I CAN, gives me an incredible peace of mind and with it... mental well being and with that I can continue to forge forward. But, just a few days ago, the guy flaked, however I have a few other offers and know that the right person will move in here and for that I feel a great sense of peace.
Okay...so I can't even tell you how little DOES fit into the suitcases, but I will persevere :) It just um...ISN'T A LOT...no really IT ISN'T....eeeekkkkkk!
Now back to where to live in Beijing.
CATEGORIZED UNDER: STRANGE STUFFED PETS
Stuffed and Wall Mounted Turtle...
Stuffed Whippet??? Deer?
Doll Suicide????
CLASSIFIED UNDER: PARTYING DANGEROUSLY
Can I interest anyone in some crack?
The previous tenant was clearly a rock star...
CATAGORIZED UNDER: UMMM...NO!
Squatty Potty anyone...Oh Hell NO!
Puppy Potty!
Three Woks, Check! Four Sponges, Check! Rat Trap in the corner, Set! (iccccckeeee!)
CATEGORIZED IN: DIZZY DISNEY
Wall to Wall Mouse!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
A Life Well Lived...."Remember You Love Me" *READ THIS!!!"
While I was working the other night I got an email from Diva Dad. Even though I was really busy trying to get stuff written, the title intrigued me. "Remember You Love Me," which was a recent Mother's Day article in the Huffington Post. As I read the email that he forwarded to me further, I tried to manage my shock....
The email exchange was between two people I don't know, but it was discussing a person, I knew very briefly and vaguely, but someone who was very very close to Diva Dad. I remember that when Diva Dad and I worked at The Famous Tea House, Padma Atluri would come in, sometimes with her sister, but often by herself. She was usually there to hang out with and talk to Diva Dad, who was a bit of a local celebrity. I don't recall exactly how Diva Dad and Padma knew each other, but I knew that they had a very close and special friendship. What I do remember about Padma is that she would brighten up a room. There was no mistaking her entrance into a room and you absolutely knew when she left as the dust seemed so settle sadly on the shelves again. She was a bright light....without question. This observation is from one, who only knew her from the periphery, but this is how I remembered her. So when I read the email exchange it talked as if Padma was gone...I decided not to face this fact until after I read the article, where in fact it said that Padma had died earlier this year of cancer.
PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/padma-atluri/learning-to-love-my-mother_b_858872.html
The email also said that the article is published in its entirety using all of Padma's words without major edits, the only thing they changed was the title, which she had originally written as "Remember You Love Me" which I personally think is more fitting...but I'm not a journalist.
So, in reading this beautiful article about a daughter and a mother and LIFE, I began to think about what is a life well lived. When are we given the freedom and license to die having achieved our purpose on this earth what is our legacy? What do we leave behind. I believe that Padma's life was a life well lived and yet the love she showed and the maturity she gained in loving, accepting and forging a new kind of friendship with her mother, seems even more extraordinary to me.
In my estimation, our purpose is self directed and God-guided but usually (for me)it is a reflection of the influence our life has had on others. And by influence I mean those we have touched in some way, shape or form. And Padma, has touched me and others greatly and while reading her amazing article I reflect on the fact that I too am embarking on a journey with my own mother and her words sit with me from heaven and guide and direct me as I go...Thank you for your beautiful life and words Padma...THANK YOU!
The email exchange was between two people I don't know, but it was discussing a person, I knew very briefly and vaguely, but someone who was very very close to Diva Dad. I remember that when Diva Dad and I worked at The Famous Tea House, Padma Atluri would come in, sometimes with her sister, but often by herself. She was usually there to hang out with and talk to Diva Dad, who was a bit of a local celebrity. I don't recall exactly how Diva Dad and Padma knew each other, but I knew that they had a very close and special friendship. What I do remember about Padma is that she would brighten up a room. There was no mistaking her entrance into a room and you absolutely knew when she left as the dust seemed so settle sadly on the shelves again. She was a bright light....without question. This observation is from one, who only knew her from the periphery, but this is how I remembered her. So when I read the email exchange it talked as if Padma was gone...I decided not to face this fact until after I read the article, where in fact it said that Padma had died earlier this year of cancer.
PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/padma-atluri/learning-to-love-my-mother_b_858872.html
The email also said that the article is published in its entirety using all of Padma's words without major edits, the only thing they changed was the title, which she had originally written as "Remember You Love Me" which I personally think is more fitting...but I'm not a journalist.
So, in reading this beautiful article about a daughter and a mother and LIFE, I began to think about what is a life well lived. When are we given the freedom and license to die having achieved our purpose on this earth what is our legacy? What do we leave behind. I believe that Padma's life was a life well lived and yet the love she showed and the maturity she gained in loving, accepting and forging a new kind of friendship with her mother, seems even more extraordinary to me.
In my estimation, our purpose is self directed and God-guided but usually (for me)it is a reflection of the influence our life has had on others. And by influence I mean those we have touched in some way, shape or form. And Padma, has touched me and others greatly and while reading her amazing article I reflect on the fact that I too am embarking on a journey with my own mother and her words sit with me from heaven and guide and direct me as I go...Thank you for your beautiful life and words Padma...THANK YOU!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Faith, Failure, a Friend and Photos That Look Like Mugshots
*Just a warning, this post gets a little raw* We all get raw, just most of us don't broadcast it to the world, so Imma little crazy, I like to tell it all...cause I love stories, even mine.
So.. FAITH
We all know I have it and that it waivers greatly! I think on a whole, I'm a great believer in something, but I truly don't know what it is and I don't totally believe that I trust in it...which might actually be my problem. See if I believed in Kabbalah, I could just manifest with love all that I desire, but ya know (and most of you do) I have been manifesting FOR YEARS....daily. I have been grateful, loving, caring, giving...in essence GOOD!! In fact too good in most cases. And sometimes...well, sometimes I just don't always see it working. Ya know. Not for the big stuff, like finances and fulfilling life long dreams. Kids, I'm covered, I got those and they are amazing!!! Health, other than now being over weight (which I have never been before) I'm good (thank God!!! really) loved (check) creative (check) happy (mostly!) so life isn't bad, it just isn't what I have been manifesting. So THE MOVE TO CHINA....
Brings me to FAILURE! (just wait, I get there in the end...but roll with me here)
So when I was young I wanted to be an actress (but I have always really been a writer, ever since I was very young.) I was a good actress and eventually, just as my career was ending, was a really good actress...but alas... I failed as an actor.
I then became a filmmaker (but I'm still a writer), and was a REALLY GOOD filmmaker and made films that were in film festivals and were on the big screen and it was fun...but I wasn't able to make my living as a filmmaker...so I failed as a filmmaker.
I was almost a development executive at a big company and I worked hard, brought in cool ideas, tried to make it with the big guys and...was laid off, FAIL.
I then tried to make it as a writer, my true gift, my true voice and my true calling...and I have for the last five years, by the skin of my teeth have been working exclusively (except for the Daycare years) as a writer...mini succeed. But I didn't write my own works, but the works of others until recently when I was awarded a 10 book horror series which will bare my name...mini succeed. Still NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO LIVE....MOVE TO CHINA....fail?
I am a MOTHER...this I can say I do well. My kids are happy, loved, smart, they want for nothing, they haven't faced too much hardship and they wake up smiling and ready to greet the world every day. I feel like so far...I AM A SUCCESS as a mother. And a single mom at that, apart from help from my family and friends (when I need it) and the stipend from the state, I have done this parenting thing...alone, included feeding, housing and entertaining us. I guess in this regard, I have succeeded. But now, I have found a house that feels like a home and it is bigger than any place we have ever lived and I have nice things that I love and in the next week and until the end of the month we are giving away/selling IT ALL (but for whatever will fit in an 8 x 5 box)...today, I can't help but feel like this is a failure too. :( I mean, I guess if you measure your life in things, this would mean I have failed. Failed to keep the things we own.
Now..on the FAITH side, I am giving my things that I have truly LOVED to people who I know will also truly love them and need them as I needed them when I got them. Each deal and opportunity to buy something that I had coveted that others had was a great feeling for me. And yet now, I am giving those things, that I still love, to others. I can't lie...it hurts. And yet, isn't that a test of FAITH, to give to people who want and are in need in the hope that your life will be provided for and the you will benefit one day. Or maybe it won't...maybe we just simply will go back to not having those things anymore...even if we really loved them. :( This is where my faith waivers...I am leaping, but this is the biggest, blindest leap I have ever taken. Most would not take it and yet I am...and I am believing that this brings me one step closer to SUCCESS...
SUCCESS because I WILL continue to write in China, I WILL finish my book that has been 5 years in the making and I WILL sell it and IT ABSOLUTELY WILL BE A SUCCESS. China will probably bring me to the next level, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared.
I am happy that I'm going to talk with Nice Therapist today, cause I need to...She of course doesn't think that moving to China is a failure, she believes it is an amazing accomplishment as not many are given this opportunity and I sort of have to agree, the recruiter did tell me that hundreds of people apply for the job I was given every day...so I know, that I am lucky to have been given this chance. Things are just things, but life experiences and adventures can not be bought and sold and last a life time, this again is a gift I am giving me and my children and I have to focus on that.
So I commit to finishing my crazy horror series, my amazing book and finishing the Diva Memoir and raise my kids in China, give my mom a chance to live abroad and try on a whole new life, not knowing if it is better, worse or the same....ahhhh blah!
A FRIEND
Part of Disney's ongoing coolness as a company (at least so far) is to make sure that me and the kids are happy living in China, so my recruiter has hooked us up with another teacher working for Disney in Beijing. I get an email from him today and it turns out HE HAS A SON!!!! who is 2, so instant friend. We are meeting when we get to China and I have a family and a "friend" to help me understand the challenges of raising kids in China...who is in China working for the same company. This is very cool and it gives me just a little piece of mind. He did say housing prices are really expensive, but again, he is living in an expansive ex-pat neighborhood, so as I suspected, finding a house is my greatest concern outside of finding a home for my amazing dog :(
And finally THE WORST PHOTOS I HAVE EVER SEEN EVER OF MY KIDS...
I PRESENT TO YOU, THE PASSPORT PHOTOS OF BIG AND LITTLE DIVA!!!!!
Needless to say, my kids look a little freaked about the move as well. :) Onward to adventure....eeek!
EDITED TO ADD: I just got this post from a friend who has not only lived abroad with his family but just picked them up and moved them again on another adventure :) just about month before we did...with THE MOUSE as well.
Lorie - what a great adventure ahead of you. So proud of you for taking chances and showing your kids that some of the best lessons in life test our faith, hope and push the boundaries. Wishing you all the best and look forward to your continued blog updates.
And there you have that pesky faith again, giving you signs from...I don't know...GOD/Blue Fairy, Alien 754...that you are in fact on the right track...thanks friend... God (or whoever) I really needed that today!
So.. FAITH
We all know I have it and that it waivers greatly! I think on a whole, I'm a great believer in something, but I truly don't know what it is and I don't totally believe that I trust in it...which might actually be my problem. See if I believed in Kabbalah, I could just manifest with love all that I desire, but ya know (and most of you do) I have been manifesting FOR YEARS....daily. I have been grateful, loving, caring, giving...in essence GOOD!! In fact too good in most cases. And sometimes...well, sometimes I just don't always see it working. Ya know. Not for the big stuff, like finances and fulfilling life long dreams. Kids, I'm covered, I got those and they are amazing!!! Health, other than now being over weight (which I have never been before) I'm good (thank God!!! really) loved (check) creative (check) happy (mostly!) so life isn't bad, it just isn't what I have been manifesting. So THE MOVE TO CHINA....
Brings me to FAILURE! (just wait, I get there in the end...but roll with me here)
So when I was young I wanted to be an actress (but I have always really been a writer, ever since I was very young.) I was a good actress and eventually, just as my career was ending, was a really good actress...but alas... I failed as an actor.
I then became a filmmaker (but I'm still a writer), and was a REALLY GOOD filmmaker and made films that were in film festivals and were on the big screen and it was fun...but I wasn't able to make my living as a filmmaker...so I failed as a filmmaker.
I was almost a development executive at a big company and I worked hard, brought in cool ideas, tried to make it with the big guys and...was laid off, FAIL.
I then tried to make it as a writer, my true gift, my true voice and my true calling...and I have for the last five years, by the skin of my teeth have been working exclusively (except for the Daycare years) as a writer...mini succeed. But I didn't write my own works, but the works of others until recently when I was awarded a 10 book horror series which will bare my name...mini succeed. Still NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO LIVE....MOVE TO CHINA....fail?
I am a MOTHER...this I can say I do well. My kids are happy, loved, smart, they want for nothing, they haven't faced too much hardship and they wake up smiling and ready to greet the world every day. I feel like so far...I AM A SUCCESS as a mother. And a single mom at that, apart from help from my family and friends (when I need it) and the stipend from the state, I have done this parenting thing...alone, included feeding, housing and entertaining us. I guess in this regard, I have succeeded. But now, I have found a house that feels like a home and it is bigger than any place we have ever lived and I have nice things that I love and in the next week and until the end of the month we are giving away/selling IT ALL (but for whatever will fit in an 8 x 5 box)...today, I can't help but feel like this is a failure too. :( I mean, I guess if you measure your life in things, this would mean I have failed. Failed to keep the things we own.
Now..on the FAITH side, I am giving my things that I have truly LOVED to people who I know will also truly love them and need them as I needed them when I got them. Each deal and opportunity to buy something that I had coveted that others had was a great feeling for me. And yet now, I am giving those things, that I still love, to others. I can't lie...it hurts. And yet, isn't that a test of FAITH, to give to people who want and are in need in the hope that your life will be provided for and the you will benefit one day. Or maybe it won't...maybe we just simply will go back to not having those things anymore...even if we really loved them. :( This is where my faith waivers...I am leaping, but this is the biggest, blindest leap I have ever taken. Most would not take it and yet I am...and I am believing that this brings me one step closer to SUCCESS...
SUCCESS because I WILL continue to write in China, I WILL finish my book that has been 5 years in the making and I WILL sell it and IT ABSOLUTELY WILL BE A SUCCESS. China will probably bring me to the next level, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared.
I am happy that I'm going to talk with Nice Therapist today, cause I need to...She of course doesn't think that moving to China is a failure, she believes it is an amazing accomplishment as not many are given this opportunity and I sort of have to agree, the recruiter did tell me that hundreds of people apply for the job I was given every day...so I know, that I am lucky to have been given this chance. Things are just things, but life experiences and adventures can not be bought and sold and last a life time, this again is a gift I am giving me and my children and I have to focus on that.
So I commit to finishing my crazy horror series, my amazing book and finishing the Diva Memoir and raise my kids in China, give my mom a chance to live abroad and try on a whole new life, not knowing if it is better, worse or the same....ahhhh blah!
A FRIEND
Part of Disney's ongoing coolness as a company (at least so far) is to make sure that me and the kids are happy living in China, so my recruiter has hooked us up with another teacher working for Disney in Beijing. I get an email from him today and it turns out HE HAS A SON!!!! who is 2, so instant friend. We are meeting when we get to China and I have a family and a "friend" to help me understand the challenges of raising kids in China...who is in China working for the same company. This is very cool and it gives me just a little piece of mind. He did say housing prices are really expensive, but again, he is living in an expansive ex-pat neighborhood, so as I suspected, finding a house is my greatest concern outside of finding a home for my amazing dog :(
And finally THE WORST PHOTOS I HAVE EVER SEEN EVER OF MY KIDS...
I PRESENT TO YOU, THE PASSPORT PHOTOS OF BIG AND LITTLE DIVA!!!!!
Needless to say, my kids look a little freaked about the move as well. :) Onward to adventure....eeek!
EDITED TO ADD: I just got this post from a friend who has not only lived abroad with his family but just picked them up and moved them again on another adventure :) just about month before we did...with THE MOUSE as well.
Lorie - what a great adventure ahead of you. So proud of you for taking chances and showing your kids that some of the best lessons in life test our faith, hope and push the boundaries. Wishing you all the best and look forward to your continued blog updates.
And there you have that pesky faith again, giving you signs from...I don't know...GOD/Blue Fairy, Alien 754...that you are in fact on the right track...thanks friend... God (or whoever) I really needed that today!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Doing Laundry is Kinda Fun When You are Giving 3/4's of the Stuff Away....
I'm actually enjoying giving away most of the kid's clothes. I must admit that most of the girl's clothes were third or fourth generation hand me downs, that were really cute, gently used and really expensive at the time, but by the time they have gotten to Little Diva they were looking a bit...um...used. So getting rid of them is such a nice feeling. Now, the kids still have an insane amount of brand new, beautiful clothes that I doubt I will be able to part with but each of my kids had about two dressers full of clothes so pairing it down to one big suitcase is very freeing.
I told my landlord that we are moving and she is fully willing and ready to kick the new renters out of my home when we get back... :) um, I'm sorta not kidding. It feels nice to be loved either way.
The issue of where we are going to live is still very unresolved, but I'm getting better with that. We have a HUGE selection of places to live in Beijing, from glamorous micro accomodations, where we will all be crammed into 100 square feet of space or rent a palace on the hill way out of the way (in the burbs) with a nice lay out and some elbow room. So the age old question is...commute or cram???? I still haven't decided yet.
I have joined a mommy's group in Beijing and they are having their first playdate this Friday. I told them we were arriving in July and hope to be kept in the loop for future playdates...that, I must admit was simply a weird experience. I will be missing this playdate in Xiuxu-Wanfu...not sure how to say it park....but there will be more. Um...just a little weirdly normal.
In fact most of the things discussed on my brand new-living-in-Beijing-CHINA!!!! mommy board are simply boring. Many are selling their sit/stand strollers (Momma Drama Pats back for deciding this was the best stroller for Beijing even BEFORE reading that it was in fact the best stroller for Beijing). Um, apparently there are only two weeks left to sign up for Drama camp at the price of my left arm...no thanks. Although Drama camp would be fun DRAT!!!! And someone is in desperate need of a breast pump....hmmmm sounds just like home.
So speaking of home here are the strange and odd housing choices I have found so far.
CLASSIFIED UNDER: SCARY!!!! (but right in the middle of town)
BRING YOUR OWN SEALANT AND PAINT...
AMPLE STORAGE
LIVING ROOM/DINING ROOM and BEDROOM AT YOUR FINGER TIPS....RUN!!!!!!
CLASSIFIED UNDER: MAKE YOUR LIVING ROOM YOUR FOOTBALL FIELD
BEAUTIFUL, BIG, NEAR A SUBWAY, BUT NOT NEAR WORK, BUT DOABLE....MUST CHECK IF IT IS LOCATED ON TOP OF A LAND MINE, NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP, OR ZOMBIE INFESTED ANCIENT BURIAL GROUND...THIS ONE SEEMS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE.
CLASSIFIED UNDER: FANTASY HOUSING IN FOREST FAR FAR AWAY
NICE :) IN MY PRICE RANGE AND ALL I WOULD NEED IS A PRIVATE JET TO GET TO WORK.
CLASSIFIED UNDER: AHHH WHATEVER, I'LL CLEAN IT TOMORROW
THIS BATHROOM MAKES ME ITCH
CLASSIFIED UNDER STRANGE AND UNUSUAL BILLBOARDS
NO MEN!!!! KEEP OUT!!!! GRRRR.
CLASSIFIED UNDER: BAD, DARKLY LIT, INDY CHINESE FILM WHERE SOMEONE DIES...
NOODLES ANYONE????
CLASSIFIED UNDER: ANGELS CHORUS PART THE CLOUDS...
WOOOO THIS ONE IS BEAUTIFUL AND IN TOWN AND NEAR A SUBWAY....INQUIRE ABOUT ZOMBIES???
http://rent.soufun.com/chuzu/3_17343842_1.htm
This Cheap Dump as advertised on the website looks fun....
I told my landlord that we are moving and she is fully willing and ready to kick the new renters out of my home when we get back... :) um, I'm sorta not kidding. It feels nice to be loved either way.
The issue of where we are going to live is still very unresolved, but I'm getting better with that. We have a HUGE selection of places to live in Beijing, from glamorous micro accomodations, where we will all be crammed into 100 square feet of space or rent a palace on the hill way out of the way (in the burbs) with a nice lay out and some elbow room. So the age old question is...commute or cram???? I still haven't decided yet.
I have joined a mommy's group in Beijing and they are having their first playdate this Friday. I told them we were arriving in July and hope to be kept in the loop for future playdates...that, I must admit was simply a weird experience. I will be missing this playdate in Xiuxu-Wanfu...not sure how to say it park....but there will be more. Um...just a little weirdly normal.
In fact most of the things discussed on my brand new-living-in-Beijing-CHINA!!!! mommy board are simply boring. Many are selling their sit/stand strollers (Momma Drama Pats back for deciding this was the best stroller for Beijing even BEFORE reading that it was in fact the best stroller for Beijing). Um, apparently there are only two weeks left to sign up for Drama camp at the price of my left arm...no thanks. Although Drama camp would be fun DRAT!!!! And someone is in desperate need of a breast pump....hmmmm sounds just like home.
So speaking of home here are the strange and odd housing choices I have found so far.
CLASSIFIED UNDER: SCARY!!!! (but right in the middle of town)
BRING YOUR OWN SEALANT AND PAINT...
AMPLE STORAGE
LIVING ROOM/DINING ROOM and BEDROOM AT YOUR FINGER TIPS....RUN!!!!!!
CLASSIFIED UNDER: MAKE YOUR LIVING ROOM YOUR FOOTBALL FIELD
BEAUTIFUL, BIG, NEAR A SUBWAY, BUT NOT NEAR WORK, BUT DOABLE....MUST CHECK IF IT IS LOCATED ON TOP OF A LAND MINE, NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP, OR ZOMBIE INFESTED ANCIENT BURIAL GROUND...THIS ONE SEEMS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE.
CLASSIFIED UNDER: FANTASY HOUSING IN FOREST FAR FAR AWAY
NICE :) IN MY PRICE RANGE AND ALL I WOULD NEED IS A PRIVATE JET TO GET TO WORK.
CLASSIFIED UNDER: AHHH WHATEVER, I'LL CLEAN IT TOMORROW
CLASSIFIED UNDER STRANGE AND UNUSUAL BILLBOARDS
NO MEN!!!! KEEP OUT!!!! GRRRR.
CLASSIFIED UNDER: BAD, DARKLY LIT, INDY CHINESE FILM WHERE SOMEONE DIES...
NOODLES ANYONE????
CLASSIFIED UNDER: ANGELS CHORUS PART THE CLOUDS...
WOOOO THIS ONE IS BEAUTIFUL AND IN TOWN AND NEAR A SUBWAY....INQUIRE ABOUT ZOMBIES???
http://rent.soufun.com/chuzu/3_17343842_1.htm
This Cheap Dump as advertised on the website looks fun....
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Okay, Back from Being MIA...
So I have been kind of missing in action because, I have been on vacation with my cousin/sister and her family in Denver which was so much fun and I love them so much, two I back yard camped in my sister's yard and um...well, lets just say, Mama Music and I will go to our graves laughing over this one!!!! Wink* love ya sis and three...I AM LOSING MY MIND. So um, that's the reason for the silence.
I have signed paperwork and we are working on getting a work visa for China, the girls are going to get their passports tonight and I have decided to sell most of what I own, but for one of those big blue storage thingys and jump headlong into this adventure. I would love to say that I am excited and would even more love to say that everything is arranged and we are ready to go. In truth my mind is a mishmash of "things" that need to be done. I'm still working on my writing assignments, I have to finish boring bureaucratic stuff and um...SELL MY ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD! Never mind the sadness that I am leaving the coolest place I have ever lived in, or my friends and family or that I don't know what I am going to do for Big Diva's first year of Kindergarten, which I might add, I spent almost an entire year getting her into a good school, now...its homeschool? Chinese local school???? Um...tutor...who knows. Little Diva who just started school will have the same problem, Chinese school? Daycare? (in Chinese???) Chill out with Gaga Diva (which is the plan at the moment) SO CONFUSING!!!!!
But the saddest part is, I found out that I can't really take our dog :( I looked into the reality of bringing her (which was my first choice) and with her advanced age, a 30 day quarantine at the airport and a size restriction in Beijing, I am stuck leaving her here. So far, I don't have any takers to foster/care for her while I'm gone and I have to confess this has reduced me to tears. Not so much that people can't take her, I understand people's needs and 15 months is a long time. But, I love my little doggie, she has been and is the best dog in the world. I owe it to her to be happy. I don't want this move, which is sort of a necessity at the moment, to ruin her life.
See...I'm kinda in a haze about everything. I know that since so many doors flung wide open and quickly for this opportunity, there will be an answer for her too, its just sad to look at my little girl and know that her future (like ours) is uncertain.
While I know this is a great life adventure, the stay-put-and-just-raise-your-family side of me is really stressed. The go-for-your-dreams-create-an-incredible-life side of me is giving me a serious high five, but I am of two minds...so there it is..The Raw and the Real of Uprooting Your Entire Family and Moving to CHINA....for Pete's sake.
I have signed paperwork and we are working on getting a work visa for China, the girls are going to get their passports tonight and I have decided to sell most of what I own, but for one of those big blue storage thingys and jump headlong into this adventure. I would love to say that I am excited and would even more love to say that everything is arranged and we are ready to go. In truth my mind is a mishmash of "things" that need to be done. I'm still working on my writing assignments, I have to finish boring bureaucratic stuff and um...SELL MY ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD! Never mind the sadness that I am leaving the coolest place I have ever lived in, or my friends and family or that I don't know what I am going to do for Big Diva's first year of Kindergarten, which I might add, I spent almost an entire year getting her into a good school, now...its homeschool? Chinese local school???? Um...tutor...who knows. Little Diva who just started school will have the same problem, Chinese school? Daycare? (in Chinese???) Chill out with Gaga Diva (which is the plan at the moment) SO CONFUSING!!!!!
But the saddest part is, I found out that I can't really take our dog :( I looked into the reality of bringing her (which was my first choice) and with her advanced age, a 30 day quarantine at the airport and a size restriction in Beijing, I am stuck leaving her here. So far, I don't have any takers to foster/care for her while I'm gone and I have to confess this has reduced me to tears. Not so much that people can't take her, I understand people's needs and 15 months is a long time. But, I love my little doggie, she has been and is the best dog in the world. I owe it to her to be happy. I don't want this move, which is sort of a necessity at the moment, to ruin her life.
See...I'm kinda in a haze about everything. I know that since so many doors flung wide open and quickly for this opportunity, there will be an answer for her too, its just sad to look at my little girl and know that her future (like ours) is uncertain.
While I know this is a great life adventure, the stay-put-and-just-raise-your-family side of me is really stressed. The go-for-your-dreams-create-an-incredible-life side of me is giving me a serious high five, but I am of two minds...so there it is..The Raw and the Real of Uprooting Your Entire Family and Moving to CHINA....for Pete's sake.
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