Flying Solo and Mother's Day and Mothers....

So I read another friend's blog about being a solo parent on Mother's Day (Mommytothemonsters.com) and this means that not only are you parenting alone, but you are pretty much alone, no ex-husband to help the kids get you a gift, no other involved family members (either separated by loss, distance or otherwise) to help you celebrate this special day. She expressed her desire to stay in bed, have a little down time and enjoy celebrating all of her hard labor, love and work to care for her children. And you know...I get it... TOTALLY!

While I have a great family and a great "Dad" for the kids, I don't really have anyone here at home who says, "You know honey, I'll get the kids ready this morning and you...you just stay in bed." I do have an awesome mom who took me and the kids to brunch, but my awesome mom is also a single parent again and she has her own little one to get up and get dressed with. I do have to add that both of our kids did not wake up on time (LIKE THEY HAVE ALL OF THEIR LIVES) and we both slept in (yeah moms) but we also both almost missed our brunch reservations. Thanks to GPS and a gracious restaurant host, we made it to brunch and had a wonderful time. The Divas wore princess wear and were noticed by just about everyone in the room and Mom's little munchkin, I'll call her "Divette" was so well behaved, you could never even believe that she was only 8 months old.

In all it was a beautiful day...and I love my mom for it. My newly-a-mother sister was in Hawaii with her in-laws, husband and Divette's brother (soon to be adopted by My sister and Her Hubs) and they are enjoying a tropical vacation. My sister got flowers, a massage and it looks like her little man, named The Small Postman (long story...but it is a reference to UP their favorite film) is having the time of his life. This is amazing and it looks like the way most new moms should whoop it up.

While my mother's day did come complete with a HORSE in our front yard and a very gracious horse rider letting Big Diva sit on top of it, it wasn't quite the sandy beaches of an exotic locale and while I was a little envious (um hello...who wouldn't be) I really focused on the reason I was celebrating the day and that was to spend time with my mother and the two little loves of my life.

I may make fun of my kids and grumble a bit about how hard it is TO DO IT ALL!!! But at the end of the day, those two girls and all of the little kiddos in our family are just so amazing. My children are incredible people and I would rather be with them than anyone else in the world and Mother's Day always reminds me of how blessed I am.

Big Diva reminded me all day that it was my special day and I even got to pick out MY favorite kids movie to watch together when Little Diva went to bed. Little Diva LOVED being dressed up and it is so amazing to see her starting to be more and more like her sister, loving dressing up, being a princess (thank God for Tiana) and exploring her fabulousness...

Motherhood has changed me entirely, it has changed my heart, my mind, my body and every aspect of my life. Motherhood has brought me incredible joy and always brings joy, but it has also brought tears, frustration and exhaustion and a mother would be lying if she didn't admit, if only to herself, that she struggles at times.

I said once in a another blog I write, that Motherhood is only for the qualified and I believe that entirely. You can be a bad mother, you can be an incredibly bad mother, but even the worst mother, is in charge of everything...at the end of the day it is always her job to be the "everything" to everyone. So imagine being an incredible mother, imagine the work, commitment and dedication that it takes and then imagine being an incredible mother alone... and even if it was by choice and I would have it not other way, I too feel just a little tumbled by the tide.

Currently, my house looks like a guy's dorm...and I'll venture to guess it smells that way too. The kids and I opted to play dress up, dance, paint and swim vs. scrub toilets, floors and dishes. I, however, am getting my @ss kicked today, having to clean it all up, write 20 pages and...LOOK FOR ANOTHER WRITING JOB, it is as if solo parents never get off the ride. So rather than bitch about it (um, Momma Drama, what have you just spent like um... a couple thousand words just doing???) I am choosing to forgive whatever it is that I can't accomplish...there, now, that feels good.

And in the act of forgiveness I will always forgive the mothers who gave birth to my children. Big Diva was able to connect with her birth family and now Flyy Diva, her big sister is a mommy and it is amazing to see life, just heal like that. But, Flyy Diva knows and sees Big Diva's mom and one day Big Diva will see her mom too, not today as it will be a shock to Big Diva, who is beautiful and full of life, just like Flyy Diva. It will be a shock because Big Diva's birthmom is in a hospital with a major brain injury and can't talk, so all the fantasy that Big Diva has developed around her, will be dashed. So me and Flyy Diva have decided to wait until the time is right. But I am and always will be so grateful to Flyy and Big Diva's mom for giving birth to both of them.

Finally Little Diva's mom. I get three letters a month from prison, in each packet one letter is addressed to me and one to Little Diva, with Little Diva's adopted name on it. She struggles daily with the loss of her daughter and after getting letters from Little Diva's Bio Grandmom, I can now see why Little Diva's mom made some of the choices that she made, she never had a chance to be a healthy person with someone like her own mother in her life. I feel a lot of love and sadness for Little Diva's mom and I have tried to keep up and at least send one card and pictures every month to her in prison. I am grateful to Little Diva's mom for Little Diva and I am trying with all of my power to forge a healthy relationship with her, so that Little Diva will have the same blessings that Big Diva has. It is a bit harder as Little Diva's mom can turn on a dime and will be charming one day and cut you with a knife another, so I know that I can't be too lulled by her sweet cards until I see her prove, with her actions, that she can be safe. But that doesn't mean that my heart doesn't break for her, because in all honesty, I have the thing she treasures most and Little Diva is an incredible being and while I am so very very blessed to be her mommy, I know how much her birth mother misses her and so I hope that when Little Diva is older, she will be able to help her mom heal through this....but we live in the moment, so this is our moment.

And thus ends my blog about Motherhood...with one final thought. My mom really has only one name, I call her Mom, before I became a mother, I was always me, I only had MY name and I was known by no other and that was my life, but today, I too am "Mom" and my other name is rarely used, and that other life is rarely lived and I, like my own mother, have walked along a different but same path in this strange land, a land that is always being discovered...now we are sharing the same name

.

An Ode to Wine and What I Didn't Tell the Therapist!

Well, I'll just flat out say it. I'm a mom who drinks wine. There :) I don't drink it excessively, I have NEVER gotten drunk since being a parent (can't...cough.sputter.um...say that I didn't BEFORE parenting) but I like me some fermented grapes.

At yesterday's therapy I was given a worksheet to help me better understand Big Diva's drama, by seeing that I too (gasp) have sensory drama...guess what?! we all do, we just have it to varying degrees and this tidy little worksheet will out your sensory needs in a jiffy. Here are some of the questions....and well, the answers.

1. To help me wake up in the morning I usually need to....

MD: Well, I NEED to take a bath, have a cup of coffee, surf the internet, brush my teeth, pee, eat toast...what I get to do... IS PEE, with a two year old hanging on my leg wearing a soggy diaper and a five year old using the two year old's potty, cause as soon as she hears me pee, she needs to as well. WORTH NOTING: I do NOT pee, poop or void any other bodily fluid ALONE...EVER! The bathroom is just about as busy as our living room.

2. What I like most about our home is....

MD: Our home has these beautiful batiks on the walls, nice cozy furniture, Buddhas...I love the peace and vibrant beauty of our home. I adore our house...and if you can get past the dog hair rodents (balls of dog hair that have reanimated into beastly dust bunnies with teeth and fangs) and the yogurt stained walls, its pretty close to perfect. SCORE!

3. When I am frustrated and upset it helps to...

MD: (Panics) and SAYS: I go outside and breath heavily...(which I do, most of the time) But what it HELPS to do.... is drink wine. (Smile, breathe, sip)

4. When I prepare for bed or to calm myself I prefer to....

MD: (says) Pass out (not from drinking wine...seriously) BUT here's what my day looks like. 7AM, wake up like a bolt of lighting hit me between the eyes with two children storming my bedroom and bed. PEE (see#1) Dress, two picky-must-wear this-no this-not that-wait this, kids feed, two I wanna eat this, no that, no wait that, not this, I said "that!" kids, brush two heads of very curly hair, moisturize kid's hair and skin, re-puff hair, find shoes, get in the car drive to this one's school, then, that one's school, come home MAKE COFFEE. 9AM. Write Hollywood Starlet Memoir, ghost write garish vain mom shopping blog, write serial killer book, look for work, look for more work, keep looking for work 3:30PM pick up Big Diva, drive to get Little Diva, drive home...IMMEDIATELY strip off clothes to underwear (kids, not me, now that would be horror!) jump in pool with neighbor boys also sporting underwear, splash in pool, save 2 year olds from nearly drowning numerous times, take 5 shivering kids out... put my two in the bath (other three go to their bath) take kids out of bath dress in pajama/playwear, fix dinner feed anywhere from 2 to 5 or more children, finish food, go to the front yard ride bikes, make art projects, do homework, feed fruit for desert, socialize in Spanglish, clean up dinner (means pile in sink) put screaming over tired 35lbs 2 year old to bed, usually kicking and writhing. Sing 2 year old's three favorite songs in order, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Twinkle Twinkle, Lullaby and then wait for her to sing her rendition of all three songs, Read Tiana book, lotion legs and give massage, hug kiss, close door. Return to 5 year old who is demanding her MOVIE THEATER time, either find a computer movie or put on a DVD for anywhere from 2 to 9 kids, listen to movie while, continuing to write Diva Hollywood Starlet book, Serial Killer Story, Dream Project...answer emails. 9PM Big Diva goes to bed, sing her two favorite songs Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, ABCD (same song folks, just different words) 5 year old is much more of a music aficionado, and I must sing in my best, hippest, most Lady Gaga like voice. Kiss. Hug. Close door. Write this blog, continue to write...till wee hours of the night...PASS OUT!!!! Everyday, 5 days a week, except for weekends, where I have my high energy, Diva, leader children to myself ALL DAY....So, what do I do to prepare myself for bed and calm down...?

I PREFER TO DRINK A GLASS OF WINE :)

5. What I need to concentrate, the environment I create includes:

Reality: It includes, "Mommy" being spoken at various octaves and decibels repeatedly at roughly 2.7 minute intervals over and over and over again. It usually includes the sounds of unbridled glee, that are so joyous only someone who has never had to pay a parking ticket, taxes or a library fine has the ability to create, it usually also includes some sort of shrieking and spontaneous wailing. There are often hugs motivated by overwhelming love or the overwhelming need to be rescued from a bullying sister, neighbor or two month old puppy. (not ours). In this peaceful academic environment I have written a 10 Best of Everything Book, 200 Best Job Interview Questions, A love story about Steppin' in Chicago as a black man educated in Argentina as a world renowned tango dancer, a screenplay about an angry escaped slave, 200 Best Home Businesses, A futuristic tale about the end of the Apocalypse and the world's next savior, a kids tale about fairies who live in a tree and a series of serial killer books about a seriously f'd up guy and that is just in the last 11 months....So the ENVIRONMENT I CREATE INCLUDES....I'll give you one guess. Yep, you guessed it A GLASS OF WINE. :)

And I will add, I'm not the only mom to do so, but as said in my last post, I pay great homage to that fine beverage as it has brought me this far and I know that together we will reach the stratosphere.

And if you think that my children are viceless and above petty foibles...I will merely say.

LITTLE DIVA: Sleeps in her shoes, every night and tantrums if they are not on her feet and...

BIG DIVA: Eats her own snot.

They don't call us Drama for nothing....night folks, time for????? ahhh....I'll just keep you guessin' on that one. :)

FISH KILLER/SERIAL KILLER, SINGLE MOM Therapy session #2

Momma Drama hangs head....

It is true.

Shhhh this is a secret, I boldly introduced "Bluey" to the Facebook world, I embraced him as the only male in our family and declared my parenthood to a little blue betta fish, that I must admit I loved. He would follow me around the aquarium and was a lot of fun to watch. We had him three days...and then he grew hair and died. And thus has ended my fish rearing...FOREVER!!! After the death of seven goldfish and a blue betta, I can officially be called a fish killer. In the infamous words of "whatever that fish was who said it" in the tank with Nemo, I am no better than the heinous braces-clad, Tweedle who vigorously shook birthday presents from her Uncle to death. I am no better than the whale slaughterers and dolphin killers that roam the open seas and sequester their kill in coves. I AM A FISH KILLER...and well, this makes me sad.

But fish aren't all I kill...(cue evil laugh). And my therapist...just can't quite get her head around it.

So lets back up a bit. Big announcement number 2 (yes, if you are counting the sudden death of Bluey is number 1) Big Diva is in therapy. Here's the deal with Big Diva. She is splendid and perfect and gorgeous and amazing...but Big Diva has some "drama". So we are dealing with Big Diva drama. Most of you know, that Big Diva was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder, well, this hasn't been too too awful to endure, she just has quirks, but her quirks have turned into full scale, throw/break/shatter things tantrums and "HELL NO!" defiance that just didn't sit too well with her preschool teacher or class. So she was given a therapist and more testing, the good news about the testing is (insert mother gloating, bragging and otherwise annoying you!) she's really freaking smart. Her scores landed her in the top ten percent of children in the school district from ages 5-6 (most of whom are already in Kindergarten and yet, Big Diva is not yet)and has a raging score of 92% for comprehension. So you mix smart with "itchy" you get bitchy, or smithcy...if you're being technical. So we have a therapist and she is helping...but what I didn't bargain for is her being MY therapist too and now I have therapy once a week. This is fine, this is good, I have done the "how are you feeling" thing, so its a breeze...I see through a lot of the "stuff" and cut right to the chase, no need to be hand held into help...I just dive in, don't waste my time or yours.

So...today, I was killing people, before Nice Therapist came to the house...she also happens to have had a betta fish for the last three years, who is still alive. Seething with jealousy at her incredible fish husbandry, I started today's session after the death of Bluey and Megan Sweeney, the 91 lbs meth user and aspiring tattoo artist who was just pierced in the vein with a hypodermic needle full of air. Having recently returned to my EYES OF THE DESOLATE book series, I was writing again about the exploits of Nicky Tisdale the world's baldest, frumpiest and most invisible serial killer who is a pretty sick F*cker :). So I had to apologize lightly for my initial woozy feeling cause I was in a very strange headspace when she came in and had to shake it off.

So not to bore, I'll cut to the chase...

CONVERSATION:

Nice Therapist: It must be pretty hard to come up with that kind of gore?"

Mamma Drama: "No, not really, I have very good imagination, but I do always show the humanity in my characters, its my trademark, you aren't gonna get the gore without the human tragedy behind it...I'm not sure what is worse, reading the pain in the killer's story or the pain the killer inflicts." REAL CONVERSATION

NT: It still must be hard to be a MOM!!!!and write stuff like that.

MD: Yes.

NT: Can you separate yourself from the fiction that fast? (Mamma Drama hears: Do you want to hack up your kids?)

MD: I'm a mom, I have to. REAL CONVERSATION. But IN MY HEAD I SAID: If I can wake up to someone puking on my face, I surely can pull out of serial killer mode to make my kids a bowl of Kix.

NT: Still you must find it hard to live a double life?

MD: Yep,(smile) HEAD SAYS: I also find it hard to pay the bills, water the plants, KEEP FISH ALIVE, keep up with Big Diva's shoe collection, but you know, its part of the gig.

NT: Maybe you should work on some kind of mental transition...before you deal with your kids.

MD: Like what exactly? (look of interest and genuine concern) MY HEAD SAYS: Um like say... "kids, I just killed a character that I have taken 112 pages to develop, I really need some space right now, do me the slightest favor, can you tie your own shoes, fix your own dinner, cover and sanitize the pool while I find my happy space, please."

NT: I'm not sure, maybe watch a Disney movie or visit a mom blog.

NT: What a good thought. I say. HEAD SAYS: What a great idea, some how find a way to stall my children from needing my attention, THINKS: Only room with a lock is the bathroom, hmmmm there's a plan, lock them in there and then voluntarily of my own free will, watch a DISNEY MOVIE BY MYSELF? And then if I haven't had it good enough, read a mommy blog (I do love them, though :) and when I feel serene and peaceful without any more homicidal thoughts, release my children from bathroom lock down and make the family meal. She's a genius.

In all fairness, I do like Nice Therapist, while I feel slightly bamboozled into therapy, I appreciate her efforts. I also understand that my job maybe a little um...unusual for some, but I'm good, I have no homicidal thoughts that don't manifest on the page. I am FREAKED OUT that my mind can write such amazingly disgusting stuff, but I draw it from life and I do get real, again, it is part of my writing charm. You get the real with the fantasy gore and sex...deal with it, its part of my master plan.

However, feeling like a Fish Killer, who is really a Serial Killer while trying to be a Single Mom, did inspire enough unease to write this blog. :) Thank God for wine....but, I'll save that for my next post.

I CAN NOT BELIEVE IT HAS BEEN THIS LONG

Well, I have neglected this blog entirely, but in between the lines, life has happened. So I feel sad for my blog, but I gave her a bright orange color and a commitment that I will be back to visit more often.

So....why the silence. I think most bloggers go through this, they become real people to a lot of people and soon the thoughts and feelings that you were writing about anonymously, stop being as anonymous and then drama ensues...or stuff.

In July when I wrote my last post, we were forced to move out of our home and go into hiding because Little Diva's birth family had our address and phone number, since we are still in hiding, I can't go into more detail about that...EVER :) but we do have a good corresponding relationship with Little Diva's birth mom and I am happy that she has written many letters to Little Diva, telling her that she loves her. I don't fully trust anyone in Little Diva's birth family, but I do love them and I am happy that we have a relationship with them, but in order for our relationship to remain safe, I will have to stay in "hiding".

We also now have a beautiful relationship with Big Diva's older sister and her family and for that I will always be grateful, Big Diva knows her sister and loves her and I am so very glad that she has been found and that the missing part of Big Diva's history can be recovered.

When I last wrote, I was moving to a beautiful new house, with so much to learn and explore, now that we are here, we are learning everyday to live in a different culture and lifestyle, some of it is glorious and some of it is awful, but it is always interesting and DRAMATIC...hoooo ya!

So since I last wrote in my blog I have returned to life as a freelance writer, it is again, freakishly scary financially, but I am a much happier person. I am still trying to manifest the next level of my career, which will provide the financial security that I so anxiously desire. I know it is coming, I am soon to be a published author and more will be coming from that and I have a lot up my sleeve, but I need to get it out of my sleeve soon or um...well just get out of there already!

So I wondered where to take this blog now that I can't divulge too much from my daily life and I wondered where it left me. I started this to rouse myself and others about adoption, now I am a single mom, struggling to survive and maintain my childhood dream of being a writer....so I figured that was pretty interesting so I think I'm going to use this blog as a way to exercise my writing muscles and take my wacky approach to life and hemm and haw over it here. :) It may be entertaining and it maybe boring....lets see :)

So much to say....just so so so so much....

Well, Momma Drama has had quite the blog absence, all of it is necessary, but I have a few minutes so I am taking them.

Reason for blog....silence. (chirp!)

I am working on an aggressive (read CRAZY INSANE, INHUMANE!!!!!!) writing deadline, freelancing (Working for a Tyrant!!!!!)

I am a single parent to Big Diva (beautiful drama) and Little Diva (beautiful energy)

I am moving (OUT OF MY MIND....HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS???) so you may have gathered...we are busy (NEED A SUPER HERO BUSY!)

But....here is the recap...for the curious.

First. Burning. Question.

WHY ARE WE MOVING??? ARE YOU MOVING...WHY?????

Well. Okay. This is deep...settle in...be one with the deepness.

Indya is about to be adopted (SCREAM FOR JOY! Dance around!) Her birth mom had appealed TPR but we recently found out that the appeal was denied (don't stop dancing...whoop whoop!). Well, first I received a phone call from prison. I did not accept the charges (all inmate calls are collect calls) BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That phone call meant that Birth Mom or Birth Grandma (also in the same prison) HAVE MY PHONE NUMBER. After a few calls to Social Workers (Now officially our friends :-) ALL THREE OF THEM, Private agency worker, DCFS Worker, Adoption Worker, now all officially part of the family and ladies if you are reading this. I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU...more on them later...can I hear a WHOOP WHOOP!) So after making choice calls...it was decided I change my number...no biggie...move on.

Next day....

I GET A LETTER FROM PRISON IN THE MAIL!!!!!! Now. The Letter. Is sad, it is poignant and it is hard to read. It is written by a woman losing her child, it implores, pleads, assumes we are now a family, her first and only child will remain in her life, and expresses that the one and only picture she has (you gave her) is her reason for living...It's a letter that tears an adoptive mom's soul. It is a letter that speaks to the unspoken truth in adoption. It talks about and reveals THE LOSS! Your angel, your little Boo Bear, your light...is dimmed if not extinguished for another...and it haunts you. How can it not. So having the letter is vital to my child, BUT...having it means. Both the birth mom and her mother (both in jail for violent crimes) have YOUR ADDRESS, both have boundary issues and both are expecting to see their child. I have a valid suspicion who gave them this information and it still goes back to MY ERROR. I gave my info to the God mom of the birth mother and I believe (as she promised) that she is trying to make our lives as complicated as possible as she did ALL in her power to take Indya from us. Now that we are moments away from Indya's adoption I can say, I have never seen such an ugly display of greed in my life! She wanted my daughter (bmom's daughter) at all costs and thank you YOU...(add a severe expletive crudely describing a woman's sexual organ), you did cost us a ton!!! From my sis and her husband who shelled out a huge sum of money for a lawyer to my having to pick up my life and move...little miss witch...you didn't win, but you sure got your digs in.

So...being that it is now unsafe to stay were we are...we are moving. This is the advice of all involved and in the best interest of my children. I am excited...but sad/scared. I have to say thanks to God, I found a beautiful townhouse in just ONE DAY. I cannot believe I found a place so fast...I just can't!!!!! That almost never happens in Los Angeles, you have to sift through so much to find the right place, especially at my price point. But I had to be out by next month as birth gma is out of prison next month and I think that she'll be pretty unhappy with the "open" adoption I have arranged.

So...we are leaving and I must say it is with heavy heart. Not only am I leaving a place we have loved, but I am leaving friends and "family" we have collected here. The good news is, one of my social workers turned sister is moving into our place... in a way it is a win for all of us. I told "The Perfect Family" today and they were sad...we all were sad, we planned on raising our kids together...but alas...

I have to say the last time we moved it was bitter sweet as well. We left the hippest place in Hollywood, with movie stars, rock stars and avante gaurds living and partying together. It was a magical place, but we out grew it. Now 40lbs and two kids later, I am as far away from that crowd as a broken down unsuspecting hitchhiker is away from making it out of a horror film alive. However...the blessing in the loss is!!!! The gems in that place stayed and now the kids have a Dad, a God Father and God Mom, numerous uncles and aunts that we see EVERY WEEK. That's E.V.E.R.Y. W.E.E.K for 4 years. I know without the loss and the leaving we wouldn't have "Family Night" and family night has been my salvation over the years and has provided that...an extended family for my kids and I. So there was blessing in the loss and I know that will be true for us again.

Our new place is FUN. I have always wanted give my kids an experience of moving to someplace new and this place has things ours doesn't namely upstairs rooms and a few cute boy neighbors. We are in a duplex so we share our yard with a big family of boys...this should be interesting, I am hoping that we will be able to have "private" public space, but this will be my opportunity to set boundaries :-) The family sounds really nice and since I was researching a move to NY for work (don't ask :-( it seems to be a premature effort on the part of the company..so no NY at least not for now). But through my research I got very used to the idea of sharing a yard. The upside is the YARD IS HUGE...like foot ball field big (what...drama??? yes...but almost a football field...whatever...come visit you'll see) and there is an upstairs, the ceilings are high and we are nearer to our family, there is park within walking distance and a neighborhood pool and you can't throw a stick without impaling a kid...so we are definitely moving to an old school kid filled neighborhood. Big Diva is about to burst with excitement, not only is she and Little Diva's room huge, the whole place is bigger and cooler than we have now...so I'm excited for them, they will have space and kids and stairs and well...a more family like life. The downside :-( we are leaving our weird hip neighborhood which I have LOVED and felt like we belonged to. We are joining the Parents-with-kids-and-normal-lives hood...and I will miss the-parents-who-are-artists-and-have-arty-farty-kids land...like REALLY MISS IT!!!! We may be back one day....I don't know. I pray that our new normal hood has a few tricks up it's sleeve, like PLEASE HAVE A COFFEE PLACE THAT ISN'T A STARBUCKS...PLEASE. So lets pray that the arty farties in my new normal home come out of the woodwork somewhere or I'll...um be visiting our old hood A LOT!

The only other downside is in addition to being cyber incognito...we are going into hiding in our real lives as well. No more land line...no more physical address...no more way of ever finding our location. If you are our friend, you will be coming over OF COURSE, but no one will be using our address. It is P.O.Box time...this is a necessity...but it is sad. I didn't want to have to disappear, but we will for the safety of the kids.

As far as Indya's birth family. We will be having a semi open adoption. She will also be able to write Indya letters and I will send pictures and Indya can write her letters one day. I would have been open to more eventually, but after reading full disclosure during our signing I have discovered that her bmom is just too violent to trust. So no visits.

There is more drama in the Diva/Drama family but I can't reveal it...but it involves a potential new family member (or two!!!!!... :-) but it is not going to be a Diva/Drama baby...(for now...but don't be surprised to be surprised one day when the Diva/Drama's may...well, just don't be surprised...if the Diva Drama's don't have a 3rd one day or I may just get married teee heee...that would be a "3rd" right) but it's not going to be today...and not for awhile, however...there's IS going to...um...probably will be...a(or two) new family member(s)...soon! So this is an exciting (busy!!!) time in the lives of the Diva/Dramas. :-)

But all is good. And tomorrow is OUR FIRST FATHER'S DAY!!!!!! This is gonna be super exciting!!!! SUPER!

Research Ramblings....Glee, Birds, Dating Game Serial Killer, Muslim Matchmaker ....Oh My

Well since taking my blog to the public, I've really wanted to just pour it on....all of it, but there are some things, since this blog is public, that I have to hold tight on for a moment because of the top-secret-self-destruct nature of those things. So what to talk about outside of the Diva's of course is a little daunting.

I will say..."those things" include: A new gig, a new family member and potentially a new city. See....big stuff. But alas...I will have to wait to unveil all the stuff.

Frankly I'm not sure what will happen in any case so it's hard to discuss without the definitive answers.

So...imagine Momma Drama in full Diva Drama mode...simply freaking out on many fronts....just imagine it. It's well...melodramatic at best.

But since I can't talk about any of it...I bring you.

Research Ramblings....things I'm researching...now if ya'll (not knowing what I'm doing, wanna put out a good thought that I get these gigs...that would be great.) Welcome to my Research Rambling world.

So first (as confessed earlier) I have recently become a GLEEK....how?? Simple, I saw, I remained removed until they sang...then I was transported back to my own stage straddling youth and the potential of the next best thing I'm trying to create (oh come on...Momma Drama CREATEEEE!!!!! you gotta make this happen)....oh then there was the drama and the messages and the music....and well....HOOOKED! Sad but true.

Here are some Momma Drama hooking scenes....



What is great about this clip is Jane Lynch is GAY...like married to a nice woman gay. So I thought this was hilarious. It is also in line with something I'm working on...so also helpful...Thanks Glee.

And then there is this tid bit... The Funk



All I can say here is....pregnant girl in spandex, guy in a wheel chair...funk music....um color me GLEEKED!

Okay...now onto my next research....days and days of Hitchcock and serial killers. Here is my favorites for this rambling research....



Creepy done 60's style....eeewww.

Oh...and hey, how'd ya like to date a SERIAL KILLER :-)



SCARRRRRYYYY SCARRRRYYYY!!!! He killed 4, but potentially hundreds of women, they are still investigating the open cases...yikes!!!!

And finally...while I am not actively pursuing this writing opportunity....I really found this whole thing very fresh and enlightening. A Muslim dating sight called Half Our Deen....



And since I was so fascinated by this stereo-type crashing video I did a little further research and found this....



OKAY....how far from wrapped head Jihad terrorist is this???? Not that Muslim's are at all...in fact I have people I love dearly who are Muslim, so I know that they are FAR FAR FAR from the stereo-types. I LOVE IT...I love this, when anything changes our warped and wrong perceptions of things. This guy is great...thanks guy for changing our views of Muslims. :-)

And that's it from the Rambling Research front. :-) Back to it...

FOX on Demand - Glee

FOX on Demand - Glee